


Multiply Me

by Beanenigma



Category: Shatter Me Series - Tahereh Mafi
Genre: F/M, New-Gen, Post Defy Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-05-07 11:42:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 27,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19208680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beanenigma/pseuds/Beanenigma
Summary: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment's mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.





	1. Ella

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very self indulging thing I needed to read after finishing Defy Me. Hope you enjoy!

  
“Aaron.”  
I say. It’s still dark outside. Our small tent, our small universe, is also pitch black. But I’m not scared. Not anymore. I’m never scared here, I’m never scared with him. Even with everything I know, with everything I learned recently. Even if I try, I can’t be. I don’t know if it’s because I love him so much or if it’s because I know he will feel it if I do. Either way, all I feel is this need.  
I have to tell him.  
I have to do it or I’ll explode.  
“Love?”  
He says and I can’t help but think his raspy morning voice is one of my favorite sounds in the world. The fact a person with so little love shown to him in his life being is so willing to give me pet names - love, sweetheart, baby - filled me with such a tender feeling sometimes my heart with such a tender feeling that my heart skips a beat.  
“This is going to be my last one.”  
Aaron opens his green eyes with a flutter of blond lashes. It’s dark, yes, but I don’t need to see his eyes to know their color. Grass and leaves and fields I never thought I’d see again. His hand travels up my spine. He feels my determination, but he doesn’t understand.  
“What do you mean?”  
I feel like he knows what I’m talking about. The mission we have to leave to in a couple of hours. Take down a world government. Kill my sister. Defeat my father. The usual tuesday for us. I know he has barely slept tonight. So have I. But for different reasons.  
“This is my last mission.”  
He is quiet for a second and then he pulls me closer, his arms pressing me against his chest. He is back to his normal weight after the weeks we spent here and I can feel his muscles responding to being well fed and exercised. Sometimes I think I never saw him this healthy, I don’t know if it’s the effect of clean air or if it’s the effect of love and friendship. Perhaps it’s both.  
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Ella.”  
I know he means it. And I believe him. As I said, I’m not scared. I hug his waist. Press my face against his chest and take a deep breath.  
“I’m not worried about that. We won’t fail. I made a promise to my sister I intend to keep. We’ll do what we have to… And we’ll be back” I say, slowly, trying to weave my fears into words. “But then, I’m done. I won’t do anything else”.  
Warner lets out a small thoughtful sound. He is quiet for a couple of minutes, his fingers trailing up and down the back of my neck.  
“Anything else?”  
He finally says.  
“No more missions. No more politics… No more sectors. I’m done.”  
Aaron goes quiet. Then goes: “I understand.”  
“Do you?”  
“I… Understand you’ve been through a lot. And we were built for being in charge. You more than anyone else. But… Being in charge and served our parents nothing but… Horrors and heartbreak.”  
So he doesn’t understand. I shake my head. It is a very good reason, but it’s not mine. It’s not the real one.  
“Nothing would make me happier than trying… Working hard to try and fix what our parents did. What they tried to do with the world.” I stop. This is harder than I first thought. Aaron must be starting to feel my nervousness. “Except… Maybe this.”  
“This?”  
Even in the closed tent, under the cover, inside Aaron’s arms, it seems like it’s too open. It has been just mine until a couple of days ago. Still, I hadn’t said it out loud. I’d only gotten the news, gotten up and left.  
I pull him closer. He smells like soap and rosemary. My lips brush against his ear and I hesitante. He tightens his grip on me in anticipation.  
And then I say  
I whisper  
I murmur it so low I’m scared he didn’t listen and I’ll have to say it again  
I say it one more time.  
It starts to taste better in my tongue. There is a moment of silence. I hold my breath.  
And Aaron cries.


	2. Ella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every self indulging fantasy needs it's fair amount of angst. Don't mind me.

Kenji is leaning on the humvee, pouting while we load it up. At first, I wait for his anger, but he doesn’t say anything, so I keep working. I want to delay this moment as much as I can. And I have. This is, quite literally, one of the last moments we’ll have. I have to keep reminding myself I’m not lying to Kenji. I’m protecting him - and everyone else. 

I load up my last bag and close the door. I put my hands on my waist, sighing. 

“Okay, dude.” I open my arms. “Lay it on me. Give me your thoughts. I can handle them.”

He turns his head. 

“Friends get thoughts. Backstabbers get silence.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Then tell me the truth.” Kenji’s eyes spark with intensity. “We’re done. The mess is done. And here is safe and we’re all together! I never saw you run from a fight. Not when you were all messed up in a room. Not when everything we knew turned to shit. Sure as hell you wouldn’t do it now!”

I’m holding my breath. He isn’t. 

“Why are you leaving?!”

I wish I could say. I know he’d understand. But him knowing would defeat the purpose. Would put him in danger. The Reestablishment was no more, but it didn’t mean it was a safe world for Unnaturals or that everyone who believed in that system is gone. Me and Aaron agreed. There could be no risks. Not with me being who I am. 

I realize I haven’t said anything yet. 

“Well? You wanted my thoughts. Now give me yours. Tell me why, J.”

“I can’t.” 

“Bullshit. Nouria knows, I know she knows. Who else?” 

“Sonya and Sara.” I finally say. I count every word. I try my hardest not to give more information than it’d be safe. “Listen. It’s too soon. It’s not safe. We don’t know what happens now and we can’t risk it. I can’t tell you why, but we just can’t risk it.”

“I’m not a risk, J.” He hits his own chest with his fist. “I’m your friend.”

“You’re more than that. You’re my best friend”

I hear Aaron get out of our now empty tent. I know it’s almost time. All other goodbyes have been given. This is all that there is left.

Kenji looks at Aaron and then back at me and he is now more confused than he is mad. I don’t need Warner’s ability to see him trying to piece together an explanation. I take the piece of paper from my pocket and extend it to him. 

“And that’s why… If you ever need us…” 

He opens and looks at the series of numbers. Coordinates. 

“Who else?”

“No one.” Aaron gets to my side and touches Kenji’s shoulder. “Just you, Kishimoto. And I tried to make her change her mind and she didn’t. So don’t blow it.” 

Aaron gets into the car. Kenji is still standing, confused, coordinates in hand. So I hug him before he can resist. For my surprise, he immediately hugs me back. I fight a lump in my throat. It’s not fair for me to cry when I am the one choosing to leave. I can cry later. For now, I have to be strong. For the both of us. For all of us. 

So I pull away and wave as I take my seat in the passenger seat. I see Kenji wave back in the rearview mirror. 

He waves until he is so small in the mirror

He dissapears.


	3. Kenji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast forwarding some time, hope you dont mind :>

Look, it’s not like I didn’t try, okay? 

I pestered Nouria and Sonya and Sara for weeks. They all refused and I got several threats from several of our friends if I didn’t knock it off. Sometimes loyalty is a pain in the ass, I’ll tell you that. 

Also, my deduction skills were used to the best of my abilities. It had to be something medical, right? That’s why the girls knew. Maybe J was sick. But then why not stay? This is the best possible place to get help for people like us. And what was all that “it’s too soon” shit? Too soon… For what? 

It had to have something to do with Evie and the Sommers. Maybe Emmaline told her something in those last moments. Maybe she did something to her. Or gave her something. A new power? But then again it’s not like we were all new to this business. I don’t think we would have missed something like that. 

And then there were the coordinates. They weren’t even going that far. They showed a point right in the heart of sector 45, a rural area. Just miles and miles of plantation. Nothing special from what I could gather. Why go there of all places? 

Could they have just been bailing? Maybe they just wanted some alone time. After all that happened, I would like some time too if I had to go through all of that emotional thing with her sister and her parents… But if that was the case, I thought they might come back soon. 

But they didn’t. 

In the end, I guess it didn’t really matter why. I knew where they were. I could show up at any given time and drag their butts back out here. But it felt important. What they said before they left, it felt… Like a mission. Like I owed them this much after all the work they had done. For the sector, for the world, even for me. I couldn’t bring myself to go after them without a very important reason. 

And I did try to find one. When it was tuesday. When we had pizza night. When Adam was marrying Alia, I thought I might finally have it, but he told me to leave it alone. 

Little did I know, I was missing more than a reason. 

I was missing a very important ally. 

 

I was woken by a loud horn on the outside. I raised my head from the pillow, confused. Nazeera was leaning on the small kitchen counter of the tent, sipping coffee. She looked at me with an amused look, purposefully not moving to answer to the call. 

“It’s for you. I don’t live here” Grumbling, I stood up and started looking for my pants. “What’s that?” 

“I said that if you have a part of the closet, you have authority over the door.”

Outside the door there was no one, or so I thought. I looked around to find James in the wheel of his brand new - or newly found - 4 x 4. He had sunglasses on and his arm was hanging out of the window. 

“James. What the fuck?” 

“Get in. We’re going to get Juliette.”

I rub my eyes because I think I didn’t hear him right. I look back at Nazeera and she shrugs, getting up from the counter. I look back at James. He has a sly smile on his face. 

“Why?”

“My eighteenth birthday party is in two weeks. I want them here. And you’re the only one that knows where they are. So hop on”. 

I try to think about it, but it promises a headache and much second guessing, so I get inside and start putting on a shirt. 

“Don’t wait up for me.”

I say to Nazeera, who is busy covering her hair with a colorful scarf.

“I wasn’t going to.” She fixes her hijab into place and hands me a coat. I kiss her. 

“I love you”

“I know” She smiles and touches her forehead in mine. I always think she isn’t going to say it back, but then “I love you too.”


	4. Kenji

“So…” James says, as we drive the apparently endless country road ahead, the GPS taking us to the coordinates I had mapped out so many times. As we move east and south, green fields start to unwind and it is beautiful. “Tell me again why you never went to see them?”

“If they wanted to be seen, they wouldn’t have left,” I can’t think of any better reason. Jame’s shoulders tense a little and he shakes his head. He has been thinking a lot about it for the looks of it, “You never asked them to be in your birthday either.”

“I have. I asked Adam. But he is pretty much useless when it comes it her, isn’t he?”

I laugh in surprise. Kid’s funny.

“I suppose. I asked him if he wanted me to go get them for the wedding,” I stifle an involuntary laugh, “dude turned white.”

“It’s not his fault. Everything you guys did, it all happened so fast. And I only know half of it”

Wondering when the kid got so big and so smart, I reach for the snacks he got for the road. I open the packet of peanuts, throwing a bunch in my mouth.

“Why do you want them at your party?”

James makes a turn where the GPS tells him too. Sun hits him and it makes him seem more somber than he was before. The takes a breath, trying to put his thoughts to words.

“Dude. Aaron is my brother. And Adam can pretend he has this new family all he wants, but we have to remember. And not only if things go bad and we need them. We have to be different than dad.” Rough. The mere memory of Anderson gave me the creeps, and apparently I wasn’t the only one. I could cut the tension in the car with a butter knife and serve it for a whole army. “They’ve been away for way too long. Whatever they’re afraid of… It’s gone. Reestablishment has been gone for years. And we miss them. Right?”

“Right,” but I can’t help but think we can’t know for sure that Reestablishment is gone. It could just be gathering forces, waiting to strike again.

“Plus, worst case scenario we get to see them one last time. They can tell us to leave themselves.”

I roll my eyes, but that comment makes me nervous. What if they didn’t want to come to the party? What if I broke their trust for what they think it’s nothing? Or even worse, what if the coordinates were fake?

I quickly finish the peanut package.

 

The fields start to get busy. We see a couple of houses pop up here and there. Go through farms. Wheat, corn and flowers. It’s still baffling to think we used to see the world so differently because of one person. With Emmaline gone, green and blue were back and they were here to stay. Most of what we had been doing since we got in charge of our own territory was to rebuild, replant and restart.

The earth was one more producing. Cities were back to activity. Business was growing. Recently, we started working on a new political system and people seemed to be responding well to it.

“Wow. This place is nice.”

“Right?”

I peek at the GPS. We’re almost at the spot, less than a mile away. James looks out the window and slowly stops the car, putting the window down.

“Hey, there’s someone there.”

I’m about to say, ‘yeah, it’s a farm, James, people live here’, when I look toward the field he’s pointing at. A lady with a sun hat, jeans and a plaid shirt throws a big stick as far as she can and a pair of big shepherd dogs scramble themselves to go after it. The stick goes further than any regular person could throw it. While she waits for them to return she looks around and spots us.

“Do you think it’s her?”, James asks.

The car starts to shake. Not from the engine or anything. Just the whole car. Generally. Our own private earthquake. I hear the metal of the car starting to crumble.  

“Ah, it’s her, alright.”

I get out of the car, hands already up. James does the same. The lady walks towards us. I see her brown her under the hat and her blue eyes pierce us even from afar until she looks at me and there’s a flash of recognizement.

“Hey there, princess!” I wave at her.

“Kenji?” She asks, surprised. Her dogs are back. They come running towards us, barking, but they stop when Ella whistles, putting two fingers to her mouth. She walks our direction, hands on her pockets. I don’t think I remember seeing her so relaxed. Ever. She seems older too. Confident. I like it. She looks good. “Is the world on fire again?”

“Boy, I wish.” Can’t help but say. Ella giggles.

“I came to invite you two for my birthday.” James says, smiling. J’s eyes go to him, as she acknowledges how much he has grown. It is crazy even for me, who saw the whole thing.

“James. Wow, you’re so big. What are you turning? Seventeen?”

“Eighteen, actually.”

“Really? Wow.”

“Yeah. I’m throwing a party. I want you guys to come.”

Ella doesn’t reply. She looks back. In the horizon, there is a blue house. She makes a gesture for us to follow her.

“You know what? Come inside. I’ll makes us some snacks and get Aaron. He’ll love to see you guys.”


	5. Kenji

 

We follow Ella through the fields towards the house. The dogs run around us, keeping our small group together like sheep. 

“Do they have names?”

I ask, just because the silence is uncomfortable. I pet one of the dog’s head and it licks me. Ella looks at them and smiles. 

“Black and white one is Checkers. Red one is Pup. We weren’t planning on keeping Pup so we didn’t give him a name, but as it turns out, Aaron is a huge dog person.” 

“I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“No one would.” 

We laugh, but we are still tense. There is as much space between us now as there were these past few years. I might as well be back in my tent with Nazeera. The big secret is still here, even with Ella standing a couple of feet from me. 

“Aaron!” She calls as we get close to the blue house. The windows are painted white and there are mosquito nets in all of the windows. There is also a barn and a hen house nearby, both painted red and white. It’s looks like an illustration to an old book - or an old movie about the country. “Could you come outside, please?” 

Aaron appears at the front door. Even living on a farm, his white shirt is perfectly pressed, although his sleeves are rolled up all the way to the elbows. His fancy black pants make it seem like he’s on his way to pick up his private jet and not his tractor. He doesn’t seem to notice us. 

“Darling, would you come inside? Pyp just won’t eat her…” He stopped in his tracks when Ella gestures her head towards us. 

“We have company.” 

“I can see that. What are they doing here?” 

“Don’t be rude. They came to see us.” Juliette gives him a look that probably has more meaning that James and I know. I tried to look at James to see if he caught that too, but he was already climbing on the porch to give Aaron a big ol’ hug. 

Warner seems uncomfortable, but hugs him back. They speak in low voices. 

“I’m sorry we have been M.I.A.” J says, walking closer, petting her dog on the back of its neck. “We have been… Busy.” 

“I can see that. It’s a big farm.”    
  


 

J looks around, as if she is surprised to find herself in the middle of growing fields. 

“Ah. Surprisingly, the farm part is easy work. No, there is something else.” The sun is setting around us and Ella and takes a deep breath. “Okay. You wanted to know why we had to leave. Come in. I’ll show you.” 

She takes me to the porch and breaks up the brothers’ conversations. 

“James, come inside. I want to introduce you to…” 

“Ella.” Aaron holds her arm, stopping her. It sounds serious. They sustain each other’s looks for a couple more seconds. 

“They came all this way, love. We can’t just send them back now.” Ella insists, touching his fingers for a second before moving along. We come in. And quite frankly, even after all those years, getting on Warner’s nerves still seems like a very fun thing to do, so I oblige. James follows me, avoiding his half-brother’s stare. 

The house is big, but it’s also cozy. It’s like I can see which parts were chosen by both Ella and Warner. Like: the coffee table is organized: two or three books are being held by a couple of candles and small flower pot. The couches however, were a mess of comfy blankets and colorful pillows with no apparent pattern. Still, everything seems to fit together.

J takes us to the kitchen, which is just as I would expect of a farm’s kitchen. It’s wood and it’s old. Rustic, but lovely. And there is a big six seat table, the kind you would give big dinner parties in. And sitting at the end of it is a baby girl on a high chair, with blonde hair and blue eyes.

“This”, Ella says, walking towards her just as the toddler starts to wave her arms and shriek in excitement. She picks the baby up and prop her on her hip. “Is Pyp. It’s short for Olympia.”

“That’s me!” Pyp says with a proud smile. She shows four fingers. “I’m this much!”

I’m scrambling for words.  _ A kid.  _ Of course. How stupid. How ultimately stupid. Juliette and Warner would fuck like two bunnies. Of course this would happen. A real life child. A full on human being. That was half Ella half Aaron. And it even  _ spoke  _ now. Actual words. 

J comes closer and puts the toddler on the ground. She kneels behind her and puts her hands on her daughter’s little shoulders. James kneels to her height as well. 

“Look, Pyp, this is your uncle James.”

Pyp seems excited by the idea of an uncle. She immediately grabs his face and he laughs. 

“Good to meet you too, Pyp.” 

I’m about to kneel and take a better look at pipsqueak when I feel an unnatural gust of wind behind me. And then, when I look around, in front of me. J stands up, shaking her head and extends her arms, catching what for me was no more than a blur. The blur turns out to be a brown haired boy with green eyes, that is still kicking in the air. He is bigger than Olympia, older. I don’t know much about kids, but I’d say he looks about six. 

“And this little rascal…” Ella lifts the pouting boy in her arms and gives him a kiss on the cheek he cleans right away. “Is Connor.” 

She looks directly at me.  _ This is the reason,  _ I think. 

At least it was a good one. 


	6. Kenji

James and I are sitting on the living room couch, cookies in a jar in front of us. Olympia is sitting between us, munching on her cookie. She seems quite pleased that her uncle and I stopped her from having her healthy dinner and is still holding James’ hand. Aaron doesn’t seem very happy about the likings of his youngest, and is trying not to stare too much. 

“So,” Ella comes into the room, bringing Connor by the hand, who sits down on the ground next to his dad’s armchair and crosses his arms. “What’s this about a party?” 

“Well, I’ve been wanting to invite you guys sooner…” James says and Pyp’s little eyes are directed to him, paying attention to his every word. “But…” 

“He’s been asking the wrong person”, I finish. Pyp looks at me and squints, as if she’s not sure about me just yet. 

“Yeah. I’m turning eighteen. And, I don’t know, I thought it might be cool if you guys came…” He shrugged, although he gives Pyp a second look. Perhaps he is rethinking this. I am too. Two children of one of the most powerful Unnaturals in the world? They were right to hide themselves - even if that meant for them to leave us behind. Our community was not nearly as small as it used to be when we moved there and word traveled fast in this new world. This could be just what the Reestablishment needed to resurface. 

“Who even are you guys?” Connor asks. He seems to be in a bit of a sour mood, although it could be Warner’s sharp features slapped across a child’s face that gives me that impression. 

“I told you, baby, they’re our friends.” Ella gives him a pet on the head and he relaxes a bit, but his green eyes are still inquisitive. “Well, we are glad for the invite, James, we are, and we would love to go, but…” 

Aaron nods, agreeing to her lack of words. He touches his son softly on his shoulder. 

“Hey, Con-Con. Why don’t you take your sister to put the chickens to bed?”, the dad whispers.  

“Chicken!” Pyp immediately gets up, putting her small hands unders her armpits and simulates little wings. She jumps toward the door. “Chicken, chicken, chicken, peep, Pyp!” 

Connor seems to be unhappy about the demand but gets up anyway and takes Olympia’s hand, taking her outside. Aaron relaxes a bit once they’re out of hearing range. He looks at us. 

“Connor has just started showing his ability. We’re not sure if the speed is all he has or if there is going to be something more… And Pyp is still too young for us to know. Until they know how to control it… We can’t allow them to be seen.” 

Ella nods in agreement. She rests her elbows in her knees and sighs softly. Aaron looks at her and caresses her back. At first, I was so surprised I hadn’t noticed. But the both of them seem very tired. Healthy, happy, relaxed, and all the things they didn’t used to be when we lived on the run. But tired. I guess I didn’t realize from where I was standing that for us, fight was over. For them, it was only the start. 

“Don’t worry, you guys. We won’t push it”, I say. J gives me a thankful smile. 

“And we won’t tell anyone either. No one has to know about them”, James added, looking directly at his half-brother. “They’ll be safe.” 

I stand up. Ella looks at me confused. 

“We should grab the car and get our way back” 

She shook her head and stood up.

“Nonsense. You two can sleep here. It’s no good to drive these roads at night. These couches are no fancy thing, but they can get comfy.”

To my surprise, Aaron is nodding. 

“Ella’s right. You guys can take the road in the morning.” 


	7. Ella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bada boom   
> bada bee  
> if its fluff you want  
> it is fluff you will see

I thought Aaron was already asleep for the longest time when his voice broke the silence of our dark room. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping with two pieces of our past sleeping in the living room in the floor below. 

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” 

Shuffling, I press my forehead to his chest.

“What?” 

“That you would love to go to the party?” 

“Yes.” I don’t even have to think about it. It had been almost seven years since we had left. Almost seven years since I killed my sister, took down a worldwide system and left all of my friends behind. Six years since my baby boy was born. Sometimes it’s impressive how fast it had gone by, how easy it was to just push my feelings back and focus on the task at hand, one task at a time. 

And how absolutely devastating it was to have a couple of minutes to think about what we left behind. I take a deep breath. 

“I miss them. Our friends.” 

But of course, they were always more my friends than they were Aaron’s. He had grown close to them because he didn’t have much choice. So that’s why I’m surprised when he says “I miss them too”. 

I close my eyes. I can still remember that day, jumping out of a plane, holding on to my friends to tight I thought my limbs might fall off. Finding ourselves in paradise, safe, unharmed and together. Celebrating Aaron’s birthday. It felt like the best life. Of course, there was the big ghost of tasks unfinished above us. But when wasn’t there? 

“Our babies are the best thing I ever made”, I say, because I know I can always whisper my deepest thought into this nightly space, into his skin and he will always keep them for me. “I know now that I was never made to fight. I was never made to be the Executioner, even with Evie and Max’s greatest efforts. I was made to have them, I was made for them.”

It sounds stupid, it sounds restricting, but it isn’t. They gave me purpose when I thought all I had had been given. They showed me I could make things when I thought I was made to destroy and that was all. 

“But… I also miss being around people. I miss my friends. Sonya and Sara. And Brendan and Winston and Ian. Nazeera. Adam and Alia. Castle and Nouria. I even miss you and Kenji bickering, and I never thought I’d have to say that…” 

It’s not funny, but Aaron chuckles. I do too. 

“I just can’t believe James is turning eighteen. He was a boy when I met him. And I… I left him behind. And Kent… I mean Adam. I shut them out”, he said, slowly, pondering every word. “My kids are their family too. And they’re our kids’ family. It feels wrong to… Keep them from it.” 

Aaron falls silent. I keep waiting for him to finish his thought because it sounds there might be more to it. 

“What are you saying? Do you think we should come back?” 

“No”, he shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. “No, I don’t. I also meant what I said down there. Olympia is too young to defend herself. And Connor is still too immature to know how to handle his powers.” 

We’re silent for a while, each one lost into their own thoughts. Until he says: 

“Do you?” 

I shake my head. 

“I don’t. But… Maybe we could try. For a day or two. Take them to the party, keep them inside… Let our friends meet them. Who knows, maybe even kids their own age will be there?” I prop myself up on my elbows, my brain already in full activity. “We always knew they’d keep our secret, we were just scared. But it’s been a long time and nothing happened… Maybe we could… Try to open up. Before it’s too late for the kids. They’re already growing up so fast…” 

When I look down, Aaron is smiling at me. I smile and avoid his eyes, furrowing my brows. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. Sometimes I just remember this decisive strong woman is my wife and I remember how lucky I am.” 

I smile and roll my eyes, reclining over him to kiss him. 

“So that’s a yes?” 

I feel his lips forming a no, so I kiss him again. He takes a deep breath and his arms go around my waist. He starts to say it again, so I do it once more. He sighs and finally says. 

“It’s a big maybe.”


	8. Kenji

 

“Do you think we made a mistake coming here?”

I don’t bother to ask if James’s is up. But he answers soon after, so it’s fine. 

“Maybe.” 

Moonshine is coming in through the windows, spreading to the floor and the couch where I’m sleeping. The whole house creaks and the wind whistles in weird patterns around it. Everything is quiet and well, but it’s making my jumpy. I hadn’t realized it was so long since I slept out of what had become my home. Since I had slept in a different surface. It was bringing back not-so-great memories. 

“Two kids, man”, I say and it still sounds unbelievable. 

“I know. And she was barely older than me. That’s kind of scary.” 

Scary. Right. I hadn’t even thought of that. J must have been so scared when she left. And there I was, making a complete fool of myself, demanding to know her reasons. And then they moved for the middle of nowhere. Who even delivered the small things? Were they all alone here for both times? 

“Pyp really likes me.” James says and when I look at him, he’s smiling. “She called me ‘unky’. I think that means uncle. I’m an uncle. That’s crazy.” 

I can’t help but smile. 

“That has to be the craziest double birthday present, huh? A nephew and a niece.” 

“Well, they did miss my previous seven birthdays. They owed me a big one.” 

“I guess”, I sit down at the couch, looking around. My question was still haunting me. What if we had made a mistake? What if we put them in danger by being here, put the kids in danger? This was never the intention. I just wanted to see my best friend again. 

And there was more. I was also pissed. A part of me was furious. Like, having a kid? It wasn’t like having two dogs, it was two full kids! I don’t even get a note? Like, fine, no one else got one, but I’m not everyone else. Or I wasn’t before and now I was. But then again, thinking about it… Me and James were the first ones to know the little boogars. Other people might have known one of them was coming, but we were the ones who got to meet them. So maybe I still was the big Protector of the Secret. 

Not that any of the kids was particularly fond of me. 

I hear the wind again and I take a look outside. Nothing is moving: not the trees, not the grass. So I look around again and I see small green eyes at the edge of the living room, hiding. 

“I can see you there.” 

I say and Connor seems to panic. He’s about to dart off when James holds himself up in his elbows and gestures the kid to come sit with us. 

“Hey there, little man. Get over here. Why are you up?” 

Connor walks up to us slowly, itching his arm. He clearly didn’t expect to be caught. He sits down at the feet of James’ mat on the floor, pulling his legs close to his chest. 

“I don’t sleep very well.” He says, but doesn’t seem to feel annoyed about it. “So I run around the house ‘til I’m tired and go back to sleep.” 

“Does your mom know?” 

I ask, and I can’t help but feel like I’m the old boring uncle. Connor looks at me like the answer is obvious. Then he thinks about it for a second later and seems surprised with himself. 

“I don’t think so.”

James pokes his knee with his finger. 

“You’re pretty fast. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone run that fast.” 

Connor smiles. 

“That’s nothing! I run very much faster on the fields!” He starts to loosen up, putting his legs down and rocking back and forth on top of the mat. “Dad says I have to practice it to get better at it, but I’m already so good!” 

James and I laugh. 

“I can see that.” I say, smiling at the kid. Despite having a load of Warner in there, he kind of reminds me of J, of how she would light up when talking about what she liked. “Do you want to see something cool?” 

He seemed hesitant, but nodded. I turned invisible. Connor’s jaw dropped and it felt  _ fan tastic.  _ He looked around. 

“You are very fast! Where did you go?!” 

“I never left”, I say, before appearing again. Connor takes his tiny hands to his face and contemplates this new reality. He then looks at James. 

“What can you do?” 

He chuckles. 

“It’s kind of hard to show you, but I have healing powers. I can fix you if get hurt.” 

Connor makes a fart sound with his mouth. 

“Boring.” 

I poke James with my foot, poking fun at him, and he frowns. I stand up, gesturing the kid to get up. 

“We should get you back to bed before your mom finds you here. I don’t want to be the bad influence.” 

Connor looked up at me and shook his head. 

“No, thank you. I’m good.” 

I look at James for backup, but he shrugs. Still mad at me for the poking thing, apparently. I sigh. 

“Fine, okay. But we’re going back to sleep.” 

As I sit back down at the couch, Connor climbs after me. He sits over his knees and puts his hands together in excitement. 

“Do you know any cool power stories?” 

_ Oh boy,  _ I think.  _ If there is one thing I know…  _


	9. Ella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3 I hope you're enjoying the fic!

Aaron wakes up a dawn as usual. He gets up and starts the day. He lets the animals out and starts feeding them. When he’s almost done it’s when I hear Olympia wake up. I get up and take her downstairs for breakfast. She’s still half asleep when I put her on her high chair and give her some chopped fruit and cereal. While she’s figuring out what to do with her spoon and how to sustain her own head again, I go upstairs to wake Connor up. 

Connor is not in his bed. 

I stand there for a moment, sleep gone, staring at the empty bed. My stomach drops to my feet, my heart speeds and I feel like I might die. I take a shaky step towards it, looking around just to make sure he’s not just being silly. 

I take a second before remembering the boys downstairs. A hunch takes me practically flying to the living room. I catch my breath and I see Connor asleep in Kenji’s lap, who is sleeping in a sitting position. My chest feels warm and cozy and I decide to let them sleep. 

I go back to the kitchen, still struggling to catch my breath. Pyp has managed to do her usual mess. I kiss her forehead, starting to get breakfast ready for the rest of the house. 

My mind keeps getting back to the scene I saw on the living room. Maybe I was right in what I was saying last night. It would be good for the children to meet other people, to form bonds. Aaron and I were so scared of the people that would be bad for our children, we didn’t even think of the people who would be good for them. People who could teach and protect them, who could show them what even we couldn’t. 

We had been taught so many times not to trust anyone but ourselves by horrible people and we learned they were wrong. But when it came down to it, here we were making the very same mistake. 

Aaron comes inside through the side door and goes to the sink to wash his hands. Pyp stands up straight, trying see him. She shrieks and tries to turn on her chair. “Daddy! Daddy!” 

“Hey, hey, love, settle down.” He comes to her, kissing her forehead. He sits down next to her, playing with her feet. She giggles and tries to hide her feet. “You’re getting to big for the highchair. Are you excited to sit in a big girl chair?” 

“I like this chair. It’s big.” She says, smiling. She’s such a charmer. Aaron is just helpless with her. He touches her nose with the tip of his finger. 

“Like you.” 

He gets up and comes my way, looking for something to do. I give him the bread and the knife so he’ll make the toast while I get the pancakes going. I spy Olympia, but she is very dedicated in eating every slice of apple in her plate. 

“Did you… Have some time to think about what we talked last night?” Aaron tenses up. He nods. “And?” 

He shrugs. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that before. He’s not a shrugger. I did not marry a shrugger. This tells me I might start worrying. 

“I reached no conclusion. I want them to meet our family. But I also don’t want to be careless.”

I nod. I’m terrified too. I understand everything that he’s feeling. Because we talked about this so much. Because it made sense when we were young and new parents and were so terrified of everything. But each second convinces me that keeping out children here might also be a mistake.

“Connor went to sleep with Kenji and James.” I say, and I hope he can feel everything I want to say even when I can’t put it into words. He normally can, but things have not been normal since yesterday. Can he hear my worry? Can he feel how uneasy I am? Aaron is deep in thought as he slices the bread. I start getting the pancakes ready and the smell soon fills our kitchen with hungry Unnaturals of all ages. 


	10. Ella

****

“Morning, mom” Connor sits next to his sister, crossing his legs on top of the chair. “Morning, dad. Morning, Pyp”. 

“Good morning, babe.” I give him his pancake and  he takes a deep whiff before starting to munch on it. He looked at Kenji. 

“Mom makes the best pancakes. But dad cooks the rest of the stuff better.” 

Despite being praised, Aaron looks from our son to Kenji, disgruntled. I can’t help but smile a bit out of sympathy. He never had to share the kids’ attention with anyone but me before. 

“Hey, now, Con-Con. Don’t go handing out all our secrets all at once.” 

Kenji is about to snap back when Connor points his fork at his Aaron. 

“It’s not a secret, dad. It’s a fact.” 

Kenji laughs in disbelief and James stifles a giggle. Even Pyp lets out a smile, swinging her legs on the empty space beneath her high chair. Aaron can’t help but give Connor a fond smile and fix the kid’s messy hair. 

“Did you guys have fun at night?” I asked no one in particular, starting to give out the rest of the pancakes. “I’ll forgive the violation of your bedtime, Connor, but just for tonight.”

“I did go to bed in time! I just got up after.” He pointed his fork at Kenji. “Hey, mom, did you know your friend was a soldier?” 

I immediately look at Aaron in complete panic. I see him put his hands under the table so no one sees them shake. I hold on to the kitchen counter because my knees feel a little weaker now. 

“You don’t say.” Aaron says through clenched teeth. Kenji is looking from him to me in panic. “What else did he tell you?” 

“He said his girlfriend can fly and I think that’s pretty cool.” Connor said, shrugging and finishing his pancake. What he said catches Pyp’s attention. 

“Fly?” She says, excited. She points at James. “I want fly. How you fly?” 

“Oh, I don’t fly, Pyp.” 

“Mom, can I fly?” 

“N-no, Pyp, you can’t fly” I try to keep my voice steady. She complains and I take her out of her highchair, hugging her close against my chest. The skin of my babies always help calm me down. Something I never thought I’d be able to touch, I wasn’t made to touch, that I never planned to touch. But yet…

“But I want fly…” 

“What else?” Aaron asked Connor, looking straight at Kenji, who was swallowing hard.

“Well… That’s where he met you guys, right? That’s why we have that big car.” 

I put Pyp down because I am scared I’ll drop her. She immediately darts to James, climbing to his lap. Aaron and I are looking at Kenji. What was he thinking? In what world this is what you tell a child? 

“He was just telling me some cool power stories.” The kid say, starting to notice the atmosphere in the room. I put my hands on Aaron’s shoulder to keep him in place. To keep me in place.  _ He didn’t know,  _ I have to think. I can see it in his face. Of course, he couldn’t have known the kids didn’t know. 

“Too bad he’s out of stories”, I say, slowly. Kenji nods almost imperceptibly, eyes falling on his plate. 

Olympia steals James’ pancake and runs off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something got really messy with the previous chapter, but I already fixed it!   
> Sorry I was missing for a couple of days, but I still have some chapters before I run out and have to write some more. Hope you're enjoying till here!


	11. Ella

Aaron takes the kids outside to help with the chores. James goes upstairs to take a shower - although I think he just didn’t want to be in the same place as Kenji and I. After everyone left, he helped me collect the dishes and we start getting them clean. 

“J. I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble. “He says after a few minutes of silence, when I was still trying to put my thoughts together. “He just wanted to know some cool power stories. He never met anyone but you guys who have powers. It’s only natural…” 

“He’s too young”, I try not to drop the plate I’m washing. “They don’t know about my powers. They can’t know, not yet.” 

Kenji observes me, rinsing the dishes I was washing. 

“They’ll have to know eventually, J. You’re their mom.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” I close my eyes and shake my head. I don’t think I could bear if my babies knew, if they looked at me like people used to. If they saw their father for what terrible things he had done and not the person he was today. It would mean the end of everything we had built there. I open my eyes and take a deep breath. “The little boy I killed at the grocery store was just Olympia’s age, Kenji. What kid would feel safe with their parents if they knew things like that?” 

“You can’t keep this from them forever, princess. I mean, yeah, you’re right. They’re young to know about the bad shit. But they’re your family and they need to know who you are. How can they trust you when you don’t trust them?”

I give him the last soapy plate. I sustain his look. 

“You guys need to leave.” I take a kitchen towel and start drying my hands. Kenji holds my wrist before I can leave. 

“J.” 

“Let me go or I’ll make you regret it.” 

I say and our eyes clash. My voice is harsh. I haven’t said anything like this in a long time, but it’s like muscle memory. Kenji lets me go. I swallow hard and take a step back, before leaving the room.

 

_  Aaron’s old house stood where it always stood.  _

_ It felt different now that I remembered being there. Now that I remembered Leila and the child Aaron had been. It took some time to put it to shape. Frankly, I wouldn’t know. First weeks were a hard time.  _

_ The silence was oppressive, and we couldn’t fill it because I couldn’t talk about what had happened in the mission. The darkness of the night gave me plenty of time to think. The wind was too cold for me to feel warm even when I was in Aaron’s arms, where I felt safer in the whole world.  _

_ He was like morning light those days. He’d make the food and try to get the house clean and hold me when I thought I would break apart. He would get me out of bed in the morning and we would walk around the property and he would talk and I would listen. He would talk about how he always dreamed he could plant a whole forest around his house, how he wanted it was as green as my house in Oceania. His hands would slip under my clothes and over my belly that still barely showed and he would murmur about our child.  _

_ Our child! How contrasting I felt growing life, growing a family when I had just killed the last of my old one. I felt nothing short of venomous, poisonous, barren. How could it still be growing? I was terrified that one day it would just stop, it wouldn’t handle it anymore. Could I protect it? Could I nurture it? I had barely known nurture myself. My only interaction with a baby had killed it. It filled me with fear. So, so much of it.  _

__

_ We talked about coming back sometimes. Many, many times. Just for a day, just for a week, just forever. There was no house to fix, no fields to plant, food was easier, help was closer. But then, what would it mean _ ?  _ Raising a kid in what had been a military base? Telling my child they could never go further than the limits of the shinning rocks? _

_ Those days, it still didn’t seem real. Our child was more of an idea than anything else. But even then, I knew I wanted them to never be stuck anywhere. There would be no other Sommers child stuck in rooms and cells and labs and water tanks. I wanted them to be able to see a world without borders, to go where they wanted, to do what they wanted. To be free. _

_ If there was nothing else I could give them, this is what I wanted them to have. _

_ Freedom. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of insight of those first days. These flashbacks were super fun to write. I'll include some more in the next few chapters.


	12. Ella

Aaron surprises me by hugging James when they were leaving. He says something in a low voice and the kid’s eyes seemed to triple the size. I avert my eyes to check on Pyp, who is immitating her dad, hugging each dog under one of her short arms. Connor is excitedly talking to Kenji, who seems very serious after our talk. His eyes find me and he gives me a weak wave. I wave back, walking towards them.

“Mom, can your friends come again on my birthday?”

I swallow hard, but manage to smile.

“I’m sure they would love it, darling, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to.”

“And then you can tell me more stories,” Connor says, completely ignoring what I had just said. As per usual. “And you can bring your girlfriend so she can take Pyp flying.”

“Yeah.” Kenji says, slowly, and I can see him counting every word. “Sounds good, little dude.”

“Connor, can you go say good-bye to your uncle James? I need to talk to Kenji.”

Connor nods and runs to where his dad and uncle are. I gesture Kenji to follow me closer to where the crops start, clear from the kid’s hearing range. 

“I’m sorry,” we say at the same time. We look at each other, surprised. I continue before he can.

“I shouldn’t have threaten you. I didn’t mean to. I just...”

“It’s okay. I’m not scared of you.” He says, touching my shoulder. “I understand. It has been a crazy ride for you guys since you left. I should have thought this through a bit better, of course you guys are scared.”

I’m about to say we’re not; we’re not scared and we haven’t been scared in a long time... But I would be lying. He continues.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed. And I shouldn’t interfere with the way you want to raise your kids. But... I just want you to know,” he held my shoulders with his hands and looked me dead in the eye, “you should never feel ashamed of what you’ve done to get here. Of what happened to you. The shittiest it was, it’s your story and it’s who you are. And your kids deserve to know you. And they’ll still love you”.

I think he’s about to say something else when we hear Olympia burst out crying. I immediately turn back. She’s holding on to James, who is crouched to her height, trying to calm her down. Aaron seems anxious to take her back, but she won’t let go of her uncle. The dogs run off because the sound is too loud. 

“No. No! I don’t want to go bye-bye! My unky…” The toddler mumbles between heavy sobs. I run over, touching her back, trying to soothe her. 

“Baby, they need to go. Come with mommy, here…” 

“No!” Pyp pushes my hand and presses harder against James’ chest. He looks at me in panic. I take a deep breath before holding the baby and pulling her from his arms. She screams louder. “No!” 

“It’s okay.” I assure James. “She’ll calm down soon, I promise.” 

We both stand up and he seems unsure. Pyp is trying her very best to make me drop her, projecting her own body towards him, but I’m used to holding the little rascals. James seems very sad. He takes Pyp’s little hands and gives her a peck on the cheek. She stops her sobs, looking up at him with small whimpers. 

“I’ll come again, okay, Pyp?” He promises, wiping one of her tears with his fingers. Pyp nods, but starts crying again. This time she stops fighting and slumps against my chest. My heart breaks. James lets her go and waves at me. I wave back the best I can. He tries not to look back as they start their walk back to their car. 


	13. Aaron

Pyp hasn’t cried that hard since she was a newborn. 

We get everyone inside and try to carry on with our day. But Pyp wouldn’t hear about chores or play time or nap time or dinner time. She keeps bursting back into tears and hugging the nearest thing she could and running around the house trying to find her Unky. We knew she had tendency to bond quickly - to the dogs, to new toys, to a new book on the shelf. But this is a whole new level. 

I’m terrified. And I can feel Ella is too. When night finally comes, we let Pyp sleep in our bed for the first time in a long time. Connor slips in too, somehow. Slowly, Pyp starts to calm down, exhausted from all the crying. She plays with my shirt and looks up at me. 

“You look like him.” She says, and her little hand travels along my jaw and my cheek.

“He’s my brother.” I tell her. 

“Like Connor?” She asks and I nod. 

“Like Connor. But a little different. If you have a baby one day, Connor will be your baby’s uncle.” 

“Hm…” Pyp considers the information. 

“Mom, do you have siblings?” Connor asks. He’s facing Ella. I feel a wave of emotion coming from her. I see her eyes water a bit and she smiles. She runs her fingers through his brown hair. 

“I did. Not anymore.” 

“How’s that?” 

She swallows. I want to touch her, but I can’t. 

“My sister died.” She said, finally. I look at Connor for his reaction. Besides some animals, they never really got in contact with death - specially the death of people. He nods and falls silent. Thinking. 

When I look back at Pyp, she’s asleep. Ella hugs Connor against her chest and starts to slowly stroke his hair. He closes his eyes and sleeps soon after. We look at each other, heavy hearts exposed in a dark room. 

Sometimes if felt like nothing had changed. 

 

_ “There’s someone in the house”, I whispered, opening my eyes. Ella woke up immediately, her hands instinctively protecting her belly. I sit up, trying to listen. Steps, very light ones, on the other floor. I get up, trying to reach my gun in the closet. Ella gets up too, walking towards the door.  _

_ I held her wrist.  _

_ “Let me take care of it.”  _

_ I say. She’s about to argue, but then I look at the bump that is noticeable now. She nods slowly, taking a step back.  _

_ I look out into the hallway. I see a shadow moving downstairs. I shoot. It shoots back. It isn’t even a proper fight. Whoever thought they could come in here has clearly underestimated me. Despite the soldier build, the man doesn’t last in my hands. _

_ I stand up and look at the mess. We might have to change the boards in the kitchen. I take a deep breath, checking myself for injuries. Nothing bad, just a couple of new bruises. That’s fine. I check the pockets of his uniform. Reestablishment symbol on his ID Card. I throw the thing on top of the counter, putting my hands to my head. How could they have found us?  _

_ My first thought is Kishimoto. He spilled, surely. It got out.  _

_ Or maybe something worse? Maybe they were ambushed, resistance was down and now they were coming for us. We had to leave. We could use the humvee’s radio to try and pick up a frequency to tell us what the hell is going on. I go back upstairs.  _

_ “Love, it’s me. It’s okay, they’re gone.”  _

_ I get into the room. Ella hardly notices me. She’s sitting on the ground, hands on her bump. She looks at me with terror in her eyes and I feel it punch me, fall over me, hit me like a wall of bricks. I hurry next to her.  _

_ “What happened, are you hurt?”  _

_ It couldn’t be, the bullets had come my way. They were still half buried in the hallway wall. She struggles to find words.  _

_ “I turned it on.”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “My powers. I turned them on for a second, I thought it might protect us from...” Her voice becomes more and more overwhelmed by emotion until she lets out a whimper. She grabs my hand and puts it against her belly. “They’re so cold. I can’t feel them. Tell me you can feel them.”  _

_ My own heart if deafening me. I sit down next to Ella, my free hand holding her face. She hides herself into it, waiting. I try to distance myself, try to block our influence. Anything else, anything at all that wasn’t us… We both feel it at the same time. A tug. Almost imperceptible movement, distant butterfly wings flapping. She lets the air she was holding go. I look up, my eyes itching with the sting of tears.  _

_ “It’s okay.” She murmurs, putting her hand next to mine. “We’re okay. We’re gonna be okay. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for real the idea that inspired this whole fic! I'm so excited to share this chapter with you all. Hope you like it!


	14. Olympia

Pyp had a dream she was with unky. 

She poofed out of bed and into the floor and that woke her up. Pyp had been poofing for some time, but she never poofed out of the place she was. She usually just poofed in the same place, stopping when people saw. It was like a little game. 

She stood up, looking at daddy’s back. Everyone was sleeping. She looked at herself and closed her eyes, poofing. It was very easy, like counting to three. When she opened her eyes, she was in the hallway. Mommy never let her go downstairs without her, so she poofed the whole stairs, just so Mommy wouldn’t be mad at Pyp. She looked up, smiling and jumping in place and clapping her hands. 

The next poof took Pyp outside. The dogs barked, but she quieted them down with little pats. They lick lick lick Pyp until she laughed and pushed them away. The wind was cold and it blew to her. She went to the door and tried to open it to go back inside, but it was too high for her. She pushed it and pushed it but it was not opened. Oh no! She sat down and started crying. First unky left, now this? 

Right. Unky. He’d know what to do. He was very smart and said Pyp was very smart too, so they could think together because that’s what smart people do. He looked like dad, but he was small and he was cool and Pyp wanted him to help. 

So Pyp 

Just

Poofed. 

 

KENJI

When James drops me off at my tent, Nazeera wasn’t there. It’s probably a good thing. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I take a shower, change and go to bed. The sounds of the community seem too much for me after a night in the absolute silence of the country: the distant sound of someone speaking, the hum of cars in parking lot, the sound of water in the pipes. 

The emotional noise is also pretty annoying. 

I lied to Ella. I said I wasn’t scared of her, but for a brief second, in that kitchen, I was. I knew she was capable to do anything to protect what she thought she had to. Her as a mother, protecting her children, should be an unstoppable force and I was right in front of it, looking her in the eyes. I never thought I’d be scared of that small girl that lived in a cell. Of my best friend. 

And now we were back, to our old habits. To our old lives. But it felt weird. It felt like something was missing. It felt like it did in the old days, when they had just left. It didn’t feel like home. 

I fall asleep when the feeling stuff starts to get too sticky. It feels like I barely closed my eyes when I’m woken by the sound of my doorbell. I open my eyes, stumbling to the door. There is no light coming from under the door: it’s still night time. I open the door and almost fall on my back. 

James is there. He’s holding Olympia. She waves at me and giggles. 

“Kenji,” He says, terrified, his eyes unblinking. “Help.” 

“What?!” I make a gesture for him to get inside. As he does I’ll look around to make sure no one saw. “Did you steal Olympia?!” 

“No!” He said putting the baby down. She immediately started to explore the tent. James ran to avoid her putting her toddler fingers inside a power plug. “She just appeared on my tent! Almost woke Adam and Alia up!” 

“What do you mean she  _ just appeared?!”  _

“I  _ mean,  _ one minute there was no baby and the other minute there was baby!” 

“Baby!” Pyp shouted, laughing. “Poof!” 

I kneel next to them, looking at her. 

“Poof?” 

“Poof!” Pyp says, before disappearing. She then appeared on top of the bed, jumping on it. “Poof, poof!” 

“That makes no sense. Aaron and Ella said she had no powers yet!” 

James says, trying to stop her from jumping too hard and falling to the side. I remember asking Connor if their mom knew about him not sleeping. 

“I don’t think they know”, I say, looking in panic to the girl who was having a blast. “If we don’t get this child back soon… We’re in big big trouble.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh


	15. Kenji

My alarm rings, letting me know it’s time to get up and get ready. But I’m already up and near a heart attack. Pyp gets startled by the alarm clock and “poofs” to James’s lap, who struggles not to drop her. 

“Ok, we get your car and we can be there on the afternoon. Easy.” I say, turning off the alarm. Pyp remains on James’ arms, seeming very comfortable where she was. 

“No, not that easy. I need permission to fill up the tank. I normally just get permission to get it filled when I have driving jobs, which I don’t”. Pyp pulls on the necklace James has on, but he doesn’t give her attention. 

“How did you get it filled last time?” 

“I asked Castle for a birthday present.” 

“And he gave it to you? Heartless moron, he never gave me birthday gas.”

“Kenji! Focus!” Pyp pulls it a little harder and he holds her hand to stop her. “Maybe you could ask them.” 

“For what? And why would I be using your car?” 

“Right.” He starts pacing back and forth. For a second there, he looks just like Adam, worrying about something stupid Juliette did (again). “What if… We tell them? Nouria knows Juliette was pregnant, right?” 

“Yeah, great idea, James. This kid is only three years younger than the one J was pregnant from.”

“Well, she trusted her before. Why not now?” 

“Because knowledge is power, James. And Nouria is a leader and the least she knows the best.” 

“I thought she was your friend.”

“Ah, she is. Castle and her, they’re my family. But, you know… We’ve been on this political business way to long to know what to tell and not to tell each other. And this is the take it to the grave kind of thing” 

I could see James’ brain working full speed. Or trying to, since Pyp was trying to get his attention by touching his face. 

“Unky…”

“What? What is it, Pyp?” 

“I need to go potty.”

He looks at me in full horror. I probably stare back at him with the same expression. 

 

James and I are still waiting on the outside of the bathroom, where Pyp is singing to herself while she pees, when my doorbell rings. We stare each other in panic and I push him into the bathroom, running for the door. I hear Pyp say “Hey!” before James makes a  _ shhhh  _ sound. 

I open the door to find Nazeera, fully scarfed and beautiful in the morning light. 

“Hey, I heard you were back. How was the trip?” 

I keep hearing James trying to convince Olympia he wasn’t looking and that she needed to put her pants back on. 

“Uh… Refreshing. Very much so. Ooh. The outdoors are great. We should enjoy it more. Really. Do you… Wanna go for a walk?” 

One of her eyebrows raised and she crossed her arms. 

“Really? Is that what we do now? We go on walks?” 

“I don’t know. I mean, we could. We should”.

She does what she does best. Ignores me. 

“What about Ella and Warner? Did you find them?” 

Water indicates Pyp made James raise her to the sink so she could wash her hands. That boy just let that kid walk all over him...

“Ah, nope. Turns out the coordinates they gave me were fake. So much for friendship I suppose.” I try to shrug, but it feels really weird lying to Nazeera. I think she feels it too, because her expression gets worried. 

“Are you… Okay?” 

“Me? Yeah. Sure. I’m always okay.” 

Something drops in the bathroom. She looks behind me. 

“Is someone else here?” 

_ Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit.  _

“Yes. James’ is here. He’s using the bathroom. He had something bad on the trip. He’s been here all night. SAY HI TO NAZEERA, JAMES!” I shout, opening the door just enough. 

“Uh… HI!”, he says from the bathroom. 

“Apartment’s filthy. I told him to do it on his house, but he said he couldn’t hold it. We should go somewhere else.” I close the door behind me, standing outside next to her. “So, breakfast at your place?” 

When I look into her eyes, I’m sure she can see right through me. She looks at the door a little longer, her finger tapping against her crossed arms, as if she’s deciding she’ll let this go. 

“Sure”, she finally says. 


	16. Aaron

When I wake up, both the children are gone. Juliette must have taken them to their beds while I was sleeping. Our bed was starting to get small for those rascals. It was unbelievable how fast they were growing. It felt like it was yesterday that they were so small I was scared they would break. 

I get downstairs and outside. The dogs greet me at the porch, excited. Knowing the routine, they run in front of me, as if reminding me. First the chickens, then the pigs and the cow. Check the fields.

I don’t think I ever imagined myself having dogs. Having dogs sounded like a terrible activity to me. All the effort of training it, feeding it and grooming it, and for what? Did dogs even appreciate all of that? Were they just animals seeking the easiest way to survival?

But at the same time, it sounded like someone with a life would do. Someone whose job didn’t involve torturing and bullying and  killing. Someone who would go out to a city and see friends and have children. And this is me now. And I love these dogs. Just one of the crazy ways life has changed in under a decade. 

_ It was Connor who had first wanted a dog. One of the neighbors came by to announce they had a litter and ask if we wanted one. Connor, who had never seen a dog in his life, immediately said yes. Ella said we should take him, just so he’d get to know somewhere different. We didn’t have to bring back a puppy. Oh, how wrong we were.  _

_ From the second Connor layed eyes on the black and white dog, he was in love. The took the puppy in his arms and I was scared he was going to hurt the little thing - he was only four, he didn’t know how strong he could be. But Connor hugged him with such care that I couldn’t help but to stand there, just wondering how this marvelous, wonderful child could really be mine. He turned around and saw me and smiled so wide, bringing the puppy over.  _

_ “Dad, I want this one.” He said, even though he had hardly looked at the others. “It’s like that game we play.”  _

_ “Like Checkers?”  _

_ “Yeah.” Connor had nodded. “Like Checkers”.  _

_ Pup was different. Connor had gone outside in the middle of the storm. He said he heard something and we couldn’t hold him in time - we hardly ever could those first few days of powers. I went outside too, finding him looking under the hen house. There was a dog there. She was scared and tried to attack me. I told Connor to go inside and after a few tries, I could get the dog inside the house.  _

_ The next day, this dog gave birth to nine puppies in the middle of our living room. I wanted to put them all outside the very moment they were born, but Checkers was acting wild and trying to eat the babies. So we kept them inside. We called the neighbors who gave us Checkers to ask mainly what was the deal with dogs anyway and they told us we could give the puppies away, since every farm needs a dog. It would only take two months until they were independent from their mother.  _

_ Of course, two months is more than enough for everyone to fall in love with the nine little furballs that lived inside the house. Still, knowing we had to take them away, Ella and I instituted a rule: none of the puppies could be named. Which proved itself very hard, considering both Connor and Pyp kept coming up with adorable names like Pepper and Summer and Cloudy. Still, they were only allowed to address the puppies as so: puppies or pups (in Pyp’s case).   _

_ When the two months were over, I told Ella to take the pups away and that I’d handle the kids whiplash. But when we were loading them to the humvee, we seemed to be missing one. We looked all over, but eventually assumed it had gotten lost and therefore wouldn’t be a problem.  _

_ So as Ella drove away with the puppies, I went upstairs to wake Pyp up, just to find her cuddling in her crib to Pup. I tried to take the dog out, but Pup bit me and Pyp woke up, immediately hanging on to the puppy. I tried to talk her out of it, say the dog probably wanted to be with its siblings. Pyp wouldn’t hear it - and Pup wouldn’t help me by licking her every step of the way.  _

The dogs stop, halting in the middle of the field. They start running towards the house. I run after them. In the horizon I see Ella. We meet halfway through the field. She looks at me as if she’s looking for something. She seems in disarray. 

“Is Pyp with you?!”

“No. No, why would she be with me?”

“I can’t find her anywhere. I thought…” 

My veins turn to ice. My stomach falls down a dark hole. My fingers tingle. 

“Wait… You can’t find Pyp?”

“No.” Ella says and a wave of her despair hits me. Pup and Checkers run around us, satisfied for keeping the humans together. 


	17. Ella

_“What are we gonna do when she gets here?” I asked, sitting on the porch, looking over at the recently planted fields. As the days neared and the bump inside me grew, I found myself longing for a plan. Action. I doubted Aaron had more experience with such things than me. Still, we had to put our minds together._

_Instead of giving me a practical answer like he normally did, he frowned and looked sideways at me._

_“She?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“You think we’re having a girl.”_

_I let out some air. I roll my eyes and smile._

_“Yeah, I think it’s a girl.”_

_He fixes his hair absentmindedly._

_“I think it’s a boy.”_

_“Or… You want them to be a boy.”_

_“Does it make a difference?”_

_“None of it makes a difference if I can’t deliver them.” I lay my head on his shoulder and take a deep breath. “I don’t know much about it, but I know it sucks.”_

_Aaron nodded._

_“We’ll think of something. We have time.”_

Connor stops next to me, pulling on my sleeve. I turn around to look at him, almost dizzy with the shock. For a split second, I thought it might have been Pyp, tired of this terrible game she is playing.

“I’ve been all over the fields. She’s nowhere!”

My son is all covered in dirt and leaves. He’s shivering slightly, his eyes are wet and big. I kneel down in his height and hug him tightly. He grabs on to me, which is an occasion getting more rare each passing year.

“It’s okay. We’ll find her. We will.”

I let him go and I am about to start looking again when Connor pulls on my sleeve again. He is biting his own lip, his eyes averting me. I stay where I am, waiting for him to work up the courage.

“Do you want to tell me something?”

He nods.

“About Pyp? Do you know where she is?”

Connor shakes his head.

“No. I don’t. But… Pyp… Pyp can do things. She can…” He raises his hand and does an open and close motion. I squint, trying to understand.

“What does that mean, Con?”

“I don’t know. She’s like… It’s like she’s fast. Like me. But faster. And she keeps getting out of a place and showing up again.” He opens and closes his hands a couple more times. “She thinks I don’t see her, but I do. But she never gets out of place. Maybe she learned.”

I’m astonished. I feel like I might drop. I hold myself to the wall to keep myself steady.

“Wait… You’ve seen your sister use her powers.” I say slowly. Connor averts my eyes again. “And you didn’t tell me? Does your dad know?”

“No. I… I don’t think so.”

“Connor, you should have told us!”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

“Of course it’s important! We don’t know where she is, she could be anywhere!” 

Connor bends his head down and frowns before hiding his face and starting to cry. I try to cling to my reasons, but my heart tightens. I hug him and kiss the top of his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby. I’m not supposed to let my frustration out on you.”

“I don’t want Pyp to be lost.”

“I know. I know. You couldn’t have known. I’m sorry I yelled.” I stand up, pulling him up with me. He is so heavy now… But I’d carry him to the moon and back if I needed to. “We’ll find her, Connor. You’ll see.”


	18. Ella

_ Our next door neighbors find us. The next door is at least ten miles away, but they’re the closest people to us. They’re surprised to see someone already settled in the area and compliment our house immensely. Despite being highly uncomfortable, pride shines in Aaron’s eyes. We rebuilt this house inch by inch. And Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert are right. It is  _ lovely. 

_ Somehow, I find myself alone with Mrs. Gilbert in the living room while Aaron and Mr. Gilbert discuss something about the house. I don’t really enjoy this big  _ wife/husband  _ separation, but there is not much about this surprise visit I enjoy. She asks me about the baby and how far along I am. I’m really far along. She asks me who is delivering it for me and I say Aaron.  _

_ But does he have experience with those sorts of things? Not that I know of. But aren’t you scared, dear? Oh, terrified. Men don’t have the sorts of hands for these things. I’m sure his hands will be fine.  _

_ “Do you have children, Mrs. Gilbert?”  _

_ “I did, darling. They’re all gone now. Gone to fight the good fight.” _

_ I felt my skin get colder.  _

_ “They were soldiers?”  _

_ “Not originally. But they couldn’t resist enlisting when they heard change was coming. Do you remember? That young girl who took power.”  _

_ “Sure.” I cleared my throat. “Yeah, whatever happened to her?”  _

_ “I wish I knew. It certainly changed things around here.”  _

_ And that it did. But Mrs. Gilbert never said her children returned home after things changed.  _

 

We ask Connor to run to the Gilbert’s and take a look if Pyp is not there. It’s a bit of a longshot, but she always did like the animals there. Working with the possibility she could disappear and reappear somewhere else, we had to start with places she knew, which weren’t many. 

As we took torches and started searching the woods, we both tried to ignore the possibility of our little baby stuck somewhere she couldn’t get out of - a well, the middle of a wall, under a car. There wasn’t much around here, but there was also so much. And Pyp was so small… It was hard to keep the torch steady. A couple feet to my right, I see Aaron stop and kneel on the ground. I come closer to see if he’s got any leads, but he’s just breathing harder, holding on to the cold dirt to keep him steady. 

“Aaron,” I say, kneeling down next to him. “Is it a bad one?”

He shakes his head. 

“I just need a minute. Keep looking.” 

But I don’t. I move until I’m in front on him, put both our torches down, hold his hands in mine. I hold them tightly. Try to keep my own breath steady. 

“Do you want me to go get your medicine? The house is not that far?” 

He grips my hands harder, shaking his head effusively. I move in closer, until my face is close to his. His eyes wander around, but finally get anchored by mine.  

“I know it’s scary. But we’ll find her together. We’ll get through this together.” I say, as firmly as I can. “We can do this. But you have to stay on the present. We have to focus on finding Pyp. Come now, breathe with me.” 

I start breathing in and out slowly. Slowly, but surely, he starts to follow my lead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapter so far. I hope you're enjoying this angst fest, cause I certainly am!


	19. Aaron

_ Connor took 17 hours to get out.  _

_ “Get out” wasn’t exactly how I used to think of the so called miracle of birth. I did find it poetic how some languages called it “give light” to a child. It was the culmination of a process that involved love from beginning to end.  _

_ Except I was horribly, terribly wrong, and it was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life.  _

_ Mrs. Gilbert had warned us, of course. She had offered to stay with us for the first weeks, help us with the delivery. But because none of us liked Mrs. Gilbert that much and wouldn’t want her snooping around our newborn baby, both me and Ella said no. You know, like two paranoid airheads would. She gave us what could only be described as a manual with instructions for what should be done every step of the way.  _

_ The way she said it, it sounded like a quick process. Break water. Labor. Pushing. Baby. But there actually was a whole part between being in labor and pushing that the baby wasn’t fully aware of. So we waited. And waited. And waited. Ella grew tired, droplets of sweat running all through her body. She kept asking - begging - the baby to come out.  But it seemed pretty comfortable where he was.  _

_ “Aaron”, she said, when we were nearing the fifteenth hour. “I think my powers might be coming up.”  _

_ “Coming up? What do you mean coming up?”  _

_ “I’m tired. I might lose my grip on them.” She held my wrist, but I didn’t feel anything, of course. I was immune. But the baby wasn’t - or at least, didn’t seem to be. “If that happens, you need to take her out fast.”  _

_ “I don’t know how to. Is that even possible?” _

_ “I don’t know, Aaron. Please, just try.” She squeezed my wrist harder. Her head rested against the bed rest and she whimpered. “How much longer can she be in there?” _

_ I didn’t know.  _

 

“She wasn’t there.” Connor says, arriving back at the house’s porch, where we were waiting for him. “Mrs. Gilbert is really freaked out by the way. I told her I went there running, but I don’t think she believes it.” 

I nod, my head still foggy from the attack earlier. I can hardly keep up with everything that he says. 

“You okay, dad?” I nod again, pulling him closer and giving him a squeeze on the shoulder. He takes it as incentive. “Well, where else could she be?”

“It doesn’t seem like she’s anywhere close.” Ella says, standing up and walking around. “Unless…” 

“Unless?” Connor and I say at the same time. Two pairs of green eyes looking for salvation, for an answer. 

“What if she teleported to James?” 

“Could she do that?” Connor asked. 

“I don’t know. We can only guess how her powers work. But she’s a toddler. Her thoughts are not that complex. We’ve covered all of her favorite things. Your dad. The dogs. The Gilbert’s farm…” I start to think about that logic. It makes sense. But…

“What if we’re wrong. We can’t just go there. What if she’s still here somewhere?” 

“That’s why I’ll go. You guys can stay behind and look for her here.” 


	20. James

“Kenji?!” I peeked outside of the bathroom, but he was gone. I grunted, getting back into the bathroom. What the heck was I supposed to do now. Pyp had her pants up and her hands washed and was looking at me with those enormous blue eyes. “Hey, I think Kenji went on a walk without us. We’ll stay here and wait for him, okay?” 

“Okay. But I’m hungry. Can I have fruit cubes?” 

I highly doubted Kenji would have anything like that in his house, but it didn’t hurt to check. 

“Fruit cubes. Let’s see.” I take Pyp outside by the hand and sit her on top of the bed while I go to the kitchen to check on what is there. There isn’t much, but I’m able to find two oranges. I turn around to find Pyp seated on top of the counter. “Hey! Hey, no, Pyp. You can fall from here. No jumping to high places.” 

I put her down. She pouts. 

“I don’t jump. I poof!”

“Fine. No poofing. Uhh… Do you like oranges?” I show her the two oranges in my hand. I really have no idea how much I’m supposed to feed her. I should have paid closer attention to breakfast. 

“Uh. Huh.” 

“Cool. I’m making you some orange cubes.” 

Pyp starts making a little dance, following my hands with her eyes while I fumble to find a knife and a cutting board. 

“What about the other fruits?”

“We only have oranges.” 

“But what about bananas?” 

“We don’t have bananas.” 

“Ah. And apples?” 

“No. No apples.” 

“Okay, okay. And grapes?” 

“Pyp. I just said we  _ only  _ have oranges.” 

She nodded, like she  _ knows _ . She walks around in circles while I finish cutting everything. When I’m done, I put all the cubes into a bowl and bring it to her, sitting next to her on the floor. She sits down too and puts the bowl between her crossed legs. She starts picking on the fruit with the tip of her fingers, quickly making a mess. I go to pick up some napkins and start trying to keep her dry while she eats. 

“Now listen, Pyp. This is not like your house. Do you understand?” 

“Uh huh. My house is small. But this house is even smaller! But there’s a lot of houses.” 

“Yes, very good. But also, there are a lot of people in this place. People who can’t see you.” 

“They can’t see me? What’s wrong with their eyes?” 

“No. Not like that. They can see you, they’re just not supposed to see you.” 

Pyp frowns, looking at an orange cube. 

“They’ll get grounded if they see me?” 

“No. I mean, sure. Yeah. They’ll be grounded. That’s why we can’t let anyone else see you. Alright? We can call it… A game.” 

“A game?” Pyp’s eyes shine in the excitement. 

“Yes! A game. A game in which… If you get seen… We lose. So we gotta hide when someone is about to see you.” 

“Okay... “ Pyp nods slowly. 

“But there are other rules. You can only jump if I tell you so.” 

“Poof! Poof!” 

“Fine, fine. Poof. You can only poof if I tell you so. You can never poof far. And never  _ ever  _ go near big machines, okay?” Pyp didn’t seem to follow all of that and was concentrating on her food. I wipe her face to call her attention. “Did you hear, Pyp? Don’t poof if I didn’t tell you to. Don’t poof far. Never go near machines, okay?” 

“Okay, unky.” She nodded, but I’m not sure she understood any of the rules. Because one second later, she poofs back to the top of the bed and starts jumping on it. 


	21. Kenji

I extend myself at breakfast. These last few days have been no mentally exhausting that I just want to try and enjoy this very rare glimpse into Nazeera’s apartment - its organized mess, the slight smell of something natural, the way it all looks just like her. 

Also, she’s being awfully nice, which is unusual. This is now our way of doing things. But I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. 

“Have you reported back to work yet?” She says, taking a sip of her tea. As we’re in the couch, her long long legs are crossed on top of mine. 

“No, not yet. We came in late last night. I’ll give that excuse.”

“It’s not like you to miss work like that.” 

She says, her dark eyes hovering around me, as if she’s trying to see something just beyond her reach. I sustain her look, feeling a warm spot grow in my chest. 

“You’re worried about me.”

Nazeera remains quiet for a couple of seconds, contemplating her cup of tea. Finally she nods. 

“I always worry about you.” She puts her cup at the coffee table and scoots closer, the side of her body just next to mine. “I know seeing Ella again can’t have been as easy as you say it has.” 

So this is why. I take her hand slowly, carefully. 

“I guess it wasn’t. I’m just… Organizing everything in my mind, still.” 

“You are a bit slow”, she agrees with a condescending smile and a nod. I give her a side look and she laughs. “Sorry. Force of habit.” 

Her hand runs through the hair at the back of my head. Soft and steady, as everything about her. She waits, quietly, until I’m ready to talk. 

“I guess… I guess I always thought that… Whatever reason they had for leaving wasn’t… Could never be… Good enough. That whenever I worked up the courage to get down there and speak my mind… They’d come running back.” I say, slowly. I didn’t mean to, but after the first words slip, everything comes right after. I finally understand the weight that’s been sitting on my stomach. I can address it, tell it to get a job and get out of my life. But it stays there, it’s been there for years. “I thought what we had here would be enough. That our team would be enough.” 

“That you’d be enough?” She suggests gently. I close my eyes, because it sounds about right, but it also sounds stupid. I feel like a little kid again, searching for approval, reaching for everything I could get. Trying not to let things go to shreds again and be left alone. “And why weren’t you?” 

“Well, I couldn’t be.” I say and I know it’s true. “And I don’t feel bad about it. I couldn’t say I would do the same if I was them, but… After everything that happened to them? I kind of get it…” 

Her eyes push me a little harder. 

“Do you?” 

Of this I’m certain. I nod.

“I do. I do understand. And I’ll keep helping them protect their location as I’ve had since the day they left. I’ll help them protect themselves.” I say and I’m so sure I almost immediately get up. “That’s why I have to go.” 

 

When I walk into my apartment, I hear a little shriek and find James with empty hands in the middle of the room. He looks around and sighs. 

“It’s okay, Pyp. It’s just Kenji. You don’t have to hide from him. He already knows about you” He starts to walk around. Pyp drags herself from under the bed, sneezing. James puts his hands on his hips and I have to stifle a laugh. What happened while I was gone?

“That’s no rule!” 

“No poofing is a rule. And you poofed. So you get no points.” 

“No fair!” 

She stumps her little feet on the ground and sits down in protest. I walk towards them. 

“Hey. Sorry I took so long. I had to make sure Nazeera didn’t suspect anything” I look down at Pyp, who is making an effort not to look at me. “What is this about points?” 

“Ah. Me and Pyp have been practising for her to hide when other people come. She’s getting really good at poofing.”

“Poofing?” 

“That’s what she calls it. I prefer jumping.” 

“POOFING!” Olympia screams, getting a little red on the process. 

“Okay. Sounds like a good idea. But I have another idea…” I snap my finger, getting both of their attentions. “I have to go back to work. I wouldn’t put my job in danger like this never, but Pypsqueak has to go home. So I think… We should fake an attack. Then I can get the patrol car to pursue it. Once she’s safe and sound with her parents, we’ll think of something to say.” 

James puts his hands to his head as if it was about to explode. 

“Kenji. This is a really bad idea.” 

“Do you have a better one?” 

“I do”, the voice comes from nowhere, a specific part of it, close to the door. I feel my stomach drop and my knees melt. Nazeera. She takes off her invisibility and stands in my middle of the room. Pyp screams a poofs right into James’ arms. “You can tell me exactly what the hell is going on.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters will be packed with angst!


	22. Ella

I follow the sun as it dives into the horizon. I imagine being there too, having the car fall off the edge of the world, falling into darkness, finally thinking of something else other than my baby girl. 

My decision to go alone had been met with severe protest from both of my boys. Connor had cried. He hadn’t cried like that for some time now. With how smart he was, it was easy to forget he was still a child. He still needed me and his father. But this was something I had to do. I insisted for the boys to stay, I needed to go after them. 

And with Aaron in the state he was in, I don’t think anyone could stop him from reducing the whole camp to dust in case he didn’t find Pyp if he had gone. No, staying in our own familiar home with Connor and keeping up our routine as well as he could while looking for her was best for him. 

The way doesn’t seem as familiar as I thought it would be. In my mind, I thought I knew exactly what I had to do to go back. It was a comfort. Knowing there was somewhere to go back to if everything went wrong. It was a first. But now I saw how long it had been. How my memory had faded. Luckily we still had that map - so old it still had the sectors’ borders. 

The sun is suddenly gone and I’m in full darkness. My brights travel little space, just enough so I know I’m moving somewhere. I try to quiet my breathing, keep steady. I’ve been driving for hours, but there is still some way to go. 

I hear something in the car. Like a soft knock at the back. I take it for a rock from the road. It comes again the same way. I try to look at at the rearview mirror, but see nothing. Finally, a bang. My first reflex is to step on the brake with all of my strength. I didn’t know how fast I was going. My body is projected ahead, held back by the security belt. The car slips in all of the dirt. 

My head is spinning, but I get out of the car. I lift the gun in my hand, but I’m ready to make the whole world burn if this is a trap. Maybe Pyp didn’t go out on her own after all. Maybe they were back, they were all back. Maximilian and Evie and Paris and the Reestablishment and they would close the door and my children… Oh, my children, not them. 

I see movement and I shoot, muscle memory. I see a blur get out of the way and I hear whimpering. I feel sick. I hold back my powers with all of my might. I throw the gun to the side as if it was burning. 

“Connor?!” He’s hiding behind the car, curled up on himself, hands to his head. He starts to cry. My heart is racing. I look back at the road, then back at him. “Are you hurt? Did you follow me?!” 

He moves, but doesn’t look at me. He doesn't look hurt. Not physically, anyway. He looks at where the gun is on the ground. I walk to him, kneeling. He takes a step back and falls on his butt on the dirt.  _ Fear.  _ Of course he’s scared. I remember what it means being scared. Being scared of my parents, of the people who were supposed to love me the most. Being scared of older people with scary instruments, that would use it to hurt me with any chance they’d have.

“Connor…” 

“I’m so-sorry. I’m sorry. I just- I just wanted to help Pyp. I’ll go back home. I’ll go back home right now!” He stutters through his sobs. His tears leave a trail in all of the road dust in his face. Before he stands up, I raise my hands as a sign of peace. I slowly get closer to him. “I’m sorry.” 

“Shhh. Shh, baby, it’s okay. It’s just me. It’s just mommy.” He looks at my hands and then at me, and it pains me to see his hesitation. Finally, Connor flashes to me, holding on to my waist, crying against my chest. I hug him back, a lump travelling up to my throat. “I’m so sorry I scared you. You scared me too, you were supposed to be with your dad.” 

“Why were you holding that?” He asked, eyes tightly closed. 

I hug him closer. Closer to me. If I could just absorb him back... Keep him safe like I had at the beginning. I would oh how I would protect my baby to the end of the world my small helpless baby that I had birth and nursed and bathed and fed and that I loved so much

“Mom?” 

“There are people, Connor, who might want to hurt us.” I say slowly, what I should have said before. I was so set on making my kids happy, I didn’t realize I was making them careless. I wasn’t being a good mother, I was being a careless one. There Pyp was, lost for trusting too easy. And here Connor was, on his way to danger for his loyalty. Both great qualities, both could get them killed. “But I’ll never let that happen. Not to you and not to your sister. I’ll never risk it.” 

He pulls back, looking at my face. 

“You were a soldier.” He says and this much he already knows. I look around at the dark road and feel terribly exposed. Anything could come at us in this darkness. 

“Let’s get in the car, Connor.” 

“No! I want to know!” He holds my sleeves and keeps me in place. His voice travels through the night, to the empty fields. His eyes are the only green in sight. They fire at me, they search me whole. “Where are we going? Why can’t I know? I’m big now! I can help!”

I hold his hands, one at a time. I press them slightly, avoiding his stare. I bring them to my lips and I nod. 

“Alright.” I say, defeated. “I was a soldier, yes. And so was your dad.” 

“Like Mrs. Gilbert’s sons?” 

“Different. We were… Important.”

“Important?” 

I nod. I lean towards him, whispering cause there is no other way to do this and not throwing up. 

“We were the children of people who wanted a world no one could live in. We were made for destruction. For chaos, for killing. We have terrible powers, Connor, and we have done terrible things.” 

His eyes shoot everywhere. I can almost see the cogs working inside his brain, not nearly as fast as he needed them to be. 

“Then… Then what happened?” 

I can’t help but smile through my tears. 

“We found each other.”


	23. Aaron

I thought there might never com a day again in which I would wake up with that emptiness in my stomach again. That feeling that I didn’t want to see what would happen today - good or bad. I just wanted this day gone. That feeling that I  _ had  _ to stand up, just to make time go faster. Alone. In silence. But there it was. And up I go. 

I get down to the fields. I feed the dogs and the chickens and the pigs and the cow. I water the vegetable garden in the back. I pick tomatoes and rosemary and beans. Nothing feels familiar anymore, even if I have been doing this every day for almost eight years. 

Last night, I thought I might explode, when Connor never get home from looking for Pyp. I searched the house, chest hurting, grabbing onto walls not to let myself collapse. Losing them both was too much. Was unbelievable, inconceivable. How could someone have two children one day and no children on the other? 

That was when I saw the piece of paper on top of Connor’s bed. In his terrible handwriting, he left a note that said “DaD I Uent WeeF Mam”, which hardly meant anything at the state I was in. So I went looking for our old short distance radio to try and get Ella in the Humvee’s radio while she was still in range. But there was no need. She got in contact first.

“W, it’s J, come in. Come in, W. Over”, the voice formed out of the static as soon as I got it on. I pulled out the speaker. 

“This is W. Requesting code. Over.” 

We didn’t have a code. But old muscles had been flexing all over even since Kishimoto had shown up at our doorstep. I heard Ella laugh on the other side and my body slightly relaxed. 

“I don’t have a code. But I love you. I hope that’s enough.” And it is. It’s always enough. It’s more than I need. More than I ever deserved. “I have a stowaway following me to camp. I was too far to come back. Over.” 

I looked back at the note crumpled on my hand. I’m relieved, but the tension wouldn’t leave me. Both of them, driving straight into the snake’s nest. I should have gone in her place. Connor was always always more attached to her, anyway. 

“We have to work on his spelling. Over.” 

I said, because I can think of nothing else. When Ella answered, I can hear the subtle alteration in static that I think I can make out to be his voice complaining. 

“Keep looking for Pyp. I’ll come in as soon as I can to let you know if we find her here. Over.”

“Will do. I’ll also report if I have anything. And J?” The letter felt alien, old and weird. Like a nickname we grew out of. I hadn’t thought of her as Juliette for almost a decade. “Be careful. Over.” 

“I will. And we’ll find her. You’ll see. Over and out.” 

We turned off the radio. I sat down on the garage floor and breathe slowly and deeply a couple of times. Alone once more, yes. But also, never as alone as I once was. That weight in my chest in the mornings too, would pass. 

Because back then I didn’t have anything to fight for. 

And now I have everything.  


	24. Ella

We don’t stop as the sun rises behind us. Connor wakes up at the first rays of light - just like he did when he was a baby. His eyes flicker awake and he looks out to the fields, immediately trying to understand where he is. He sees me and relaxes. 

“Mom”, he whispers, pulling his legs up to the seat that was too big for him. I try my best to smile. 

“Hey, baby.” I touch his knee slightly and try not to be sad about the way he tenses up again. I pull my hand back. “Did you sleep well?” 

“I guess…” He rubs his belly, shifting on the seat. “Are we there yet? I’m hungry.” 

“Just a little left, Con.” I put both my hands on the wheel, trying to stop the instinct of running my fingers through his hair. I hadn’t realized how accustomed I was to touch them until I couldn’t. “Do you want to talk about what I’ve told you yesterday?” 

Connor is silent for a couple of minutes, which is unlike him. I keep starting at the road, giving him the time he needs. I start to think he went back to sleep, but when I look at him, he’s wide awake. 

“Yes. I want to talk about it.” 

He says, in a decided voice I hardly ever hear. I nod. 

It’s hard to think about what to say.  _ If you’re worried about me hurting you then you’re absolutely right you should be scared of me you should keep yourself far away as much as it pains me I normally can hold myself but there can come a day where I can’t and if I ever hurt you my world would go up in flames and there would be nothing else _

“Mom? Did you hear me?” 

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind from these intrusive thoughts. I look ahead, struggling to keep my eyes on the road. 

“Hm? Sorry, baby, I think got distracted for a second”

“I asked about these people. Your parents. And dad’s parents. What are they to me?”. 

Nothing, I wanna say.  _ They mean nothing, my sweet Connor, and you never have to waste a second of your life thinking about them, not like I have, this was never the life I dreamed for you.  _

“They were your grandparents”, I say begrudgingly. 

“What happened to them?”, he asked, almost immediately. 

“They died”. 

“Did they die or did you kill them?”

I’m shocked at how coldly he says it. He’s staring at the road, his hands holding tightly to each other. I take a deep breath, shifting my hands at the wheel. Suddenly every position seems the most uncomfortable one I could possibly be. 

“Does it matter?”

“It matters.” 

I sigh. 

“We killed them. Your dad killed his dad. And I killed both my parents.” I make a turn and the sound of the road’s dirt lifting up covers up my swallowing hard. When the sound dimmers, I hear Connor whisper.

“Why?” 

“Because of what I told you. They had to be stopped. They made things… To me, to your father, to other people… That were unforgivable. They wouldn’t stop any other way. And we had to make sure they couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.” 

“But why? Why you?” He made small firsts, thumping on his own thighs. “You guys are farmers, how can you kill people?!” 

I can’t help but remember what Kenji told me. That dirty liar. About my kids understanding, about them accepting me the way I was. I should have never let him stay, let him get in my head. But now it was done and I had to find a way to control the situation before I lost another one of my kids. 

“There will be times in your life, Connor, that you’ll find yourself in a position you never wanted to be in, but that no one else could take your place.” I say, my voice growing louder, hoping I could let him know everything I wish I could spin it into words. Maybe if I had pen and paper, maybe if I had time. But my tongue twisted on itself and it was so hard to communicate anything at all. “And I hope you never ever have to do the choices I had to. I did all of this so there would be better a world for children like you and your sister. So that no one would have to grow up locked in a room or getting tortured or beaten or having no food.” 

When I snap out of it, I can feel Connor’s eyes on me. They grew larger, but they never budge. He looks at his own hands, opening and closing his hands. He’s quiet for a while and I focus on the way, trying not to look at him, afraid of what I would find in his eyes. 

“What about me?” 

“What about you, sweetie?” 

He opens and closes his little hands again. 

“Was I… Was I made like you were? And Pyp? Because I have powers like you guys have… Do I have to hurt people too? Is that why Pyp left? Was she scared?” 

I slowly decrease the Humvee’s speed until we stop at the side of the road. I look at my son. My expression is grave, as much as I want it to warm up, to show him it’s okay. My heart is breaking, but I somehow manage not to shake as I wait for him to look at me. He lifts his green eyes, curious. His hands are on top of his lap, fiddling nervously. 

“Connor Sommers-Warner.” I say, I as hardly ever do. In our small world, in our house, there was hardly any need for calling for him his full name. Out here everything was different. I knew exactly who he is, that doesn’t mean he does. 

I remember the baby he was and the feeling of holding his warm body against my chest. I remember his hurried breath, his small hands and fingernails, the smell of his hair. I remember all of the promises I made to him even before he was born, even when he was just an idea, hardly as big as an orange. What I kept whispering when he was so small I couldn’t believe. What I sang to him as lullabies. 

“You know why we gave you and your sister the last names we did?” 

“Because it’s your guys’ last names together?” He asked. I shook my head. 

“We were done with what we had to be. We were ready to leave it all behind forever and never looking back. We were going to let you - and, well, your sister too, but she wouldn’t come for another two years - be Ferrars. My fake name, from when I moved to North America.” Connor leaned in, listening. “It was who I was when we met the last time. Juliette was who brought us together, even if she was made up. But… As time passed… We realized we couldn’t keep running. And as terrible, horrible and no good our past was… We had to understand it was there. And there were good things in our paths, things we wouldn’t want to leave behind.” 

I’m about to fix his hair, but I stop myself, pulling my hand back. Connor sees it, but he doesn’t say anything, afraid to interrupt me. 

“If you were a girl… We couldn’t agree on either name you after my sister, your aunt Emmaline. Or your grandmother, you father’s mother Leila. We just agreed they were names that just wouldn’t fit together. As you turned out to be a boy… We decided to give you a new name. With no shadow from what came before. But still… Keeping in mind that there was heritage to be proud of. So we gave you Sommers so you’d be… Well, not like me, but brave like your aunt Emmaline. And Warner. So you’d be kind like your grandmother Leila.”

Connor contemplated this new information, nodding to himself. I continue, because I need him to listen. He never listens, but just this once. I need it to  _ stay  _ with him. I need this to stick, because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say it again. 

“So, Connor, please. Don’t ever think you’re restricted by who your grandparents were. Or even by who your dad and me are. You’re your own person. You’re free to do whatever you want. You weren’t build to be anyone else than yourself. And you should never  _ ever  _ let anyone tell you otherwise.” 

My face is burning. My face is burning because there is a fire inside of me. My heart has already been reduced to ashes. The water inside me has boiled and is trying to escape through my eyes. My throat is closed with the smoke of terrible dreams coming through. As soon as Connor’s eyes leave me, I’m sure I’ll break apart. I’ll fall into a million little pieces. I hope he doesn’t look back so he doesn’t see it, I hope he never lives to regret it, to regret putting me behind. I close my eyes, trying to hide the pain. 

Connor’s head fits perfectly under my chin. His hair is so soft. He climbs over the stick of the humvee and he sits on my lap, arms around my waist. I stand still for a moment, breathless, scared that if he holds on to me too hard, I’ll break apart. But that’s not what he does. 

Connor and Olympia, they’re so much better. Than me, than Aaron, than anyone I’ve met. They fix, they heal. They make the world better. They fill it with joy and excitement. I feel Connor get into my crevices, putting them back together, extinguishing the fire, dissipating the smoke, clearing the air. I put my arms around him and I sob against his shoulder. I cry because the relief is unbelievable. A weight I didn’t know that was crushing my lungs is finally gone. Now that fear - of being where I started, rightfully alone and unlovable - is no more. And I owe it all to him. To this small incredible human being I made. 

“Now it’s time to go, mom.” Connor says after a while, nuzzling my neck. For a second, it’s like he’s the parent and I’m the child. He pulls away from me, using his hands to dry my face. “We have to go find Pyp.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, if it's not to make long angsty conversations, i don't know why I would write fanfiction for


	25. Kenji

“Well?” She says and James and I are fumbling for words. Pyp is hiding her face against James’ shoulder. At one point, she goes close to his ear and whisper. 

“I’m sorry. I forgot to hide. Did I lose the game?” 

I can’t think of anything to say. All I can think about is that I’m done for. So, as usual, I say something stupid and hope that it sticks. 

“This is my niece. Ollie. Olivia.” 

It’s not necessarily a lie. I consider J some kind of sister I never had. The three people in the room look at me with skeptic looks. Nazeera’s one was especially angry. 

“Really? Did I lose the part where you have siblings? White ones, at that?” 

“Wow, Nazeera. Racist much?” 

“Call me racist again and I will punch you so hard they’ll be picking up your pieces in sector 39.” She stomps to us. Pyp hides her face again, starting to cry. “Who is this kid? What is all of that crazy talks about pretend attacks?” 

“It’s not what it sounds like…” James tries to intervene. 

“What  _ does  _ it even sound like?! That you stole a kid and your training it to stay hidden? That you’re going to lie to our leaders and use our resources to cover up your mistake?” Her voice gets louder every sentence. 

“When you say it like that it sounds very bad.” James replies, caressing Pyp’s back to soothe her. “But it’s nothing like that. Also, you’re scaring the baby. Can you lower your voice please?” 

Now it’s my turn to share the most incredulous face with Nazeera upon contemplating mama James. 

 

The only way we got Pyp to calm down was giving her a cookie I had stored away in my hidden stash. It was hidden because Nazeera had a sweet tooth - specially after spending the night - and I missed eating the things I actually purchased. She gave me a side eye while I got the packet out, but didn’t mention anything as I negotiated with Pyp a cookie for a smile. 

“So let me get this straight…” Nazeera says, sitting in the opposite couch to me and James. Pyp is between us, halfway through the package of cookies and much more calm now. Sometimes, she looks at us, the grown ups, and shakes her head, like she can’t believe we’re still talking about this. “This is Ella and Aaron’s kid?” 

“Uh, huh.” James says, carefully pulling Pyp’s sleeves up so she won’t try to eat them. 

“And she teleported half across the Sector to you after meeting you for a day?” Her eyebrow raised so high it should be illegal. 

“I know it’s crazy. But Juliette and Warner are pretty powerful. That would explain Pyp’s strenght. Wouldn’t explain her precision, but we don’t really know how powers work even today. Maybe she was just… Born knowing.” James shrugs and I find that unlikely. While he’s speaking, Pyp’s eyes spark up when she hears her parent’s names - which I find odd, since she doesn’t know her mother used to be Juliette. 

She grabs my sleeve and pulls on it. I lean closer and she puts her hands around her face like she’s about to tell me a secret. 

“My name’s Olympia Sommers-Warner.” She says and giggles, covering her mouth like she just said something she wasn’t supposed to. “Like Unky said.” 

I nod, trying to pay attention to the conversation. Pyp finishes her cookie and doesn’t look like she feels like taking another one. Instead, she takes my hand and starts playing with my fingers. I look down at her, surprised. It’s the first time she initiates touch. Maybe the kid doesn’t hate me after all. 

“Are you grounded because you saw me?” She asks, again in a very low voice. I smile and shake my head. 

“Not. Or, at least, not yet. We need to get you back to your mom. And only then, maybe, I’ll be grounded.” 

Pyp nods thoughtfully. 

“What if I ask my mom to tell scary lady that I didn’t know there was a game and you couldn’t see me so she won’t ground you?” 

“Ah. No, that’s okay, Pyp. This lady is not scary. This lady is my girlfriend.” 

Pyp stops dead in her tracks. Her mouth drops. Her eyes widen. She stands up on the couch, screeching and pointing at Nazeera, not even caring that James is mid-sentence. We all stop to look at her, mortified. 

“You can fly!” Pyp poofs to the coffee table and then right into Nazeera’s arms. “Take me flying!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, take a breather after all of those E M O T I O N S from last chapter


	26. Ella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Thank you so much for reading the fic so far.   
> These next chapters will probably be the last ones. My planning goes around a 35 chapter fic (more or less). However, I've been writing some flashbacks and really enjoying them, so I'm thinking of writing a prequel of sorts, following the events soon after Ella and Aaron left Nouria's camp to live on their own.   
> So if you'd like to read that leave me a comment and I'll post it when this one is done.   
> Happy reading!

“Wow!” Connor says, pressing his face against the humvee window. It’s hard to see because the glass is too thick, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. He takes out his safety belt, dragging himself over the panel and presses his forehead against the windshield. 

The shining rocks surrounding Nouria’s camp stand before us, just as impressive as they were the first time I saw them. They have been moved, expanded, been carved, but still serve the same purpose. We couldn’t see what was beyond them until we, ourselves, were beyond them. I smile at Connor’s excitement. I stop close to the nearest rock, knowing we would already have called for attention. 

“Listen, Connor. I need you to stay down.” I say, tapping my fingers on the wheel. I had been pushing back the anxiety of being here, but now it was real. I was really back here. My son looks at me, not being able to hide his frustration. 

“What? Why?” 

“People here… They don’t know about you and Pyp. And I want to keep it that way.” 

“But… But! Not fair! Pyp is probably already here! They already know!” 

“Connor.” I look at him in all seriousness. He immediately drops the attitude. “It’s important. Stay down.” 

“Ugh, fine.” Connor drags himself down and under the panel, pulling his legs tight against his body. I make sure he can’t be seen from the outside and open the door. I put on my sunglasses, closing the door behind me, putting my hands on my pockets. 

Two people seem to materialize out of thin air. I give them a wave and they seem uncertain, exchanging looks. I walk to them, showing them my hands in a sign of peace. 

“What is your business in this area?” 

One of them asks.  _ God, they’re young.  _ I take a second to remember I should have been around the same age when I started planning revolution and taking out governments. 

“My name is Ella Sommers. I’m requesting entrance.” 

The other guard gags. 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“You’re pardoned.” I put my hands in my pockets, shrugging. “I don’t intend to stay long. And I’m travelling alone. Tell Nouria if you have to. I just came to pick up something that belongs to me.” 

The second guard was still having trouble containing his surprise. I furrow my brows. The first one, however, elbow him on the side. 

“You’ll have to excuse him. He’s new. Please, proceed, Miss Sommers.”

“Mrs.”, I correct, climbing back to my car. 

The guard experiences a second of pure panic. The second guard’s eyes glow in delight. 

“Of course. My apologies. We’ll let the boss know you’re here.” 

_ I would prefer you wouldn’t,  _ I thought, starting the humvee. I look at Connor, who is peeking at me from under the panel.  _ It’s already been a pretty stressful day without reencounters.  _

“Mom?” Connor says, crossing his arms over the seat and laying his head on it. 

“Yes, baby?” 

He smiles wide. 

“This was the coolest.”

And I guess it really was. I smile back and drive forward. 


	27. Kenji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, uni kept me busy and I needed some time to get some chapters ready

 

Even with all of Nazeera’s attempts to convince Pyp they couldn’t go flying, Pyp refused to believe it. She kept Nazeera’s hand between her small loaf like hands, determined not to have the flying lady out of her sight. Nazeera’s expression varied from exasperation to slight fondness. James, however, is pouting for being utterly and completely forgotten, but trying not to show it to the flabbergasted four-year-old who wouldn’t care anyway. 

“Alright”, said Nazeera after Pyp promised to calm down for the third time. “Let’s say I’ll help you with you guys’ stupid plan. Hypothetically. What would you have me do?”

James and I think, exchanging looks. 

“Do you think Nouria would grant you an administrative vehicle?” James asks, fiddling with this thumbs. 

“Maybe. If I had a good reason.” 

“What would a good reason be?”, I shoot back, the idea of a forged attack still on my mind. It had been a while since we got the old blood pumping. Even working as security, not much happened anymore. 

“Doesn’t have to be big trouble. They trust me, so if I say I’m suspicious…” 

“But we can’t go”, James interrupts, scratching his chin like he’s trying to get to his brain if he just scratches hard enough. The slightest plummage is starting to grow. I wonder if the kid got any sleep at all. “If we don’t show up to work today, they’ll come for us and put two and two together. That something happened at Juliette’s.”

“So what? No one has the coordinates”, I shrug. It’s good to be the only one. 

“Sure. But could you lie to Castle if he asked you straight on why you delayed more than you said you would?” 

My silence is all the answer he needs. 

“Nazeera, however, has no reason to go see Juliette.” 

“Ella was my childhood best-friend, you know?”, she says, eyebrows raising. 

“But you don’t know where she is.” James snaps his fingers. She doesn’t appreciate it. He recoils back. “I’m just saying you’re our best bet. Can you do it?” 

She thinks. Her eyes wander to Pyp, who is staring at James confused. Seeing everyone is silent, she raises her hand to speak. Nazeera looks around confused and nods at the child. 

“Who is Juliette?”, Pyp asks, her big blue eyes blinking at us. Now I know Nazeera is too far gone. She just can’t help it. Kid is just too good. She sighs. 

“I’ll do it.” 

“Great. It is great, ‘cause I have to get to work.” James stands up, looking at me. “And you do too.” 

“What? You’ll just leave me with her?” I have to smile at the slight panic in her voice. 

“Relax. Pyp is the best. She’s no trouble at all.” James is lying. James is lying big time. “And it’s only until tonight. Tomorrow you’ll go to work in the morning and ask for the car. We’ll wait with Pyp here and hand her to you once you got it.” 

“And then you’ll give me the location?” When I turn to her, Nazeera’s eyes are sharp. I fight the urge to scrunch up into a little ball. It’s not like I’m eager to do so. These stupid numbers are the only thing I have left of the days we had, of the family we used to be. Before leader children, before secret experiments… Back at Omega Point, when we were just a bunch of nobodies hiding underground. 

But then again, things have changed. Pyp is just living proof. Things have changed and I should too. 

“I will.” I nod slowly. Her stare grows softer. I think she hears how I’m struggling to keep my voice from cracking. 

“Then it’s decided.” James extends his hand to the middle of the room. “Operation Stork is ago!” 

Nazeera looks at his hand and then at me. I’m halfway to putting my hand in the pile. She lets out a disappointed sigh and picks Pyp up in her arms. Anticipating flying shenanigans, Pyp screeches in delight. She walks out of the tent and leaves us hanging. 


	28. Ella

I’m not sure where to go, where to park. I end up directing myself to the open field next to the tents. It’s what I know best, where I used to live. When I stop the Humee, I see Connor peeking out. I ruffle his hair. 

“What’s the white things, mom?”

“Houses.”

Connor huffs. 

“Those can’t be houses. They’re so small!”

I can’t help but smile. Connor’s world is big houses, growing fields and deep woods. He’d never seen how the rest of sector 45 used to live. How I used to live. He’s never seen hunger, pain or cold. He doesn’t know how wonderful it was to have something so small and yet, so perfectly ready to receive us. So ours. 

“Me and your dad were living here when I got pregnant of you.”

He hums, taking in the information. 

“Which one?” 

I squint at the lines that unfold in front of us, trying to remember. 

“Fourth one to the left…” I hesitate, staring at the two lines of tents in front of us. “I’m almost sure.”

“You don’t remember where you used to live?”

Once, forgetting would have been a blessing. My crimes, my suffering, my . Eventually, I found that forgetting was a curse. My family, my powers, my love. Now, it was just a surprise. 

“I lived so many places, love”. 

I finally say. He frowns, but doesn’t push on. 

I notice a pair walking over to where we are. I don’t need to look much further to recognize the dreadlocks and dark skin. I usher Connor back to the space under the panel. 

“Stay here. Don’t make a sound. And don’t let anyone see you. I mean it, Connor.” 

He murmured something before I closed the door. 

 

“Miss Sommers,” Castle says, a confused smile spreading over his face. “What a surprise.”

“It’s Mrs. Sommers now.”I say, smiling back. I didn’t think it possible, but seeing them again makes my heart tighten. The weight of the years is starting to show on Castle’s face. That pushes him more toward a strict but loving grandpa, instead of the public nuisance he used to be. It gives me a fond sort of amusement. “Hello, Castle. You look well.”

“Don’t be snarky with me, girl.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” When I look at Nouria, her dark eyes already scrutinizing me. If she’s looking for weapons or trying to reconcile the nervous pregnant teen who came to beg for secrecy with who I am now, I’m not sure. Maybe both. “Nouria. Thank you for allowing me passage.”

“Of course,” she nods, being brought back into the present. “I did say you’ll always be welcome here.”

“I know. Old habits die hard.” 

“And what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” I see him look behind me, probably looking for Aaron. 

“I need to see James. He has something of mine. I need it back.”

They exchange looks, clearly more confused by the minute. Castle nods and signals me forward.

“I’ll take you to the boys’ tent.”

I struggle not to look back at Connor, still hidden inside the humvee. I have to trust he’ll do what I tell him for once in his life. It’s a lot to expect from him, I know. But miracles can happen. 


	29. Adam

Night shifts are always terrible. The pay makes it worth it - especially now - and a much welcomed distraction - especially now. But that means mornings are torture. And I quickly learn that people have a tendency of worsening it. Knocking doors, for example. 

I wait for James or Alia to open the door. I quickly realize I’m alone at home. They’re probably already at work. I open my eyes, checking the clock next to the bed. I groan. Two hours of sleep. Forcing myself upward, I struggle to the door, I involuntarily fix my posture and clear my throat. 

“Castle? It’s early.”

As he apologizes, my eyes wander behind him. Nouria? Why is she here? A cold feeling climbs up my spine. Was anyone hurt? Was there trouble? Was it James? Alia? But before I can bring myself to start paying attention to what Castle was saying, I see her. I rub my eyes to make sure I’m awake. 

“Juliette?”, I ask in complete confusion. She regards me with a fond smile. I suddenly feel out of balance. “I mean, Ella. Hi.”

“Hey, Adam. Long time, no see.”

“Yeah. That is what normally happens when you move away.” 

“So I’ve heard.” 

I shake my head, trying to get a little bit of clarity. 

“Sorry. It’s been a long night.”

Her eyes lose the amused look. She seems… Worried. 

“I’m really sorry to bother you. Is James here?” 

“Hm, no. No. He’s probably at work already. Did he convince you to come to the party?” 

Ella hesitate. It’s when I notice I don’t see Warner around anywhere. So that probably means she’s not staying. She crosses her arms, like she used to do to avoid touching people. She’s nervous. 

“Where does he work? I need his help.”

“At… The hospital. Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt?”

“I sure hope not.” Ella says and it’s the most honest thing she’s said since I opened the door. “I think he might have something I need back.” 

“Something?I don’t remember him bringing anything. You can… You can look around if you want.”

“I don’t think he’d leave it here.”

“What is it? I can look for it… He doesn’t take anything to the hospital.” 

“It’s… Uh…” 

“Mommy!” I’m not sure if I’ve fallen asleep for a second or if I’m having sleep-deprivation induced stroke, but I’m sure I heard a child. I see Ella’s face shift to utter relief and the four of us look toward the side. My eyes find James first, trying to steer Nazeera back into Kenji’s tent. Kenji peeks out and I know him enough to know he’s just cursed. Something in Nazeera’s arms moves, but vanishes before I can place it. 

And a blonde child materializes in Ella’s arms. 

Ah. So it is a nightmare.


	30. Ella

All disappears. The sun burns out, the earth breaks in half, even time collapses on itself. Everything that exists is me and my baby. Is Pyp’s tiny hands around my neck, is her lovely golden locks, is her plumpy small body in my arms. I hold on to her as she giggles and rubs her nose against my neck, like she does since she was a newborn. 

Voices break the enchantment. 

“Can I know what you three were doing with… A Child?” Castle inquires. 

When I open my eyes, the three of them are inching closer like children who were caught stealing cookies. James is mortified and Kenji is ready to blink out of existence. Nazeera is not phased. She’s looking at me with surprising softness. She’s looking at me softly. I suddenly feel very aware of where I am. 

“Pyp poofed to me”, James says, eyes meeting mine. “We were trying to get her back home.” 

“With who’s authorization were you going to leave?” 

“Nouria’s, if we were lucky.” Nazeera says simply. Kenji and James exchange looks. Castle catches them. 

“How long has she been here?” 

No one wants to be the one to say almost two days. A slow, warm feeling spreads in my chest. Castle and Nouria didn’t know. They were still trying to hide my secret. 

“Don’t worry, Castle. No harm was done.” I wiggle Pyp in place and she smiles at me. She looks around and gives the new people a wave. Castle seems instantly less sure of wanting to punish the others. This child is just too charming for her own good. “Well, I have what I came for. I should be on my way now.” 

I can practically fell a cloud of discontentment hovering around me, coming from all sides, like a wave. I shrink myself slightly, wishing I could just hang around. Just a little longer, perhaps. 

“Come on, Ella. You just got here…” Nazeera said, crossing her arms. The gesture feels more vulnerable than she probably meant it to. “What’s the rush?” 

_ The rush is seven and alone in the car.  _ “I’m sorry, guys. I wish I could stay…” I mean it. I wish I could stay and see all the others and know what happened all this time and maybe earn their trust again. Why their faces look older and tired, if they too had children, if they found the peace and happiness we all fought for. 

“But you’ll be back for the party, won’t you?” 

Everyone's surprised to hear Adam’s voice. He is leaning against the door, half asleep, but his eyes are set on me. I can’t help but remember the boy he was, the unresting kindness that made me love him when I was young. 

“Sure”, I nod before I can stop myself. 

“You will?” James asks, surprised, beaming. I look at him, feeling warm at the sight of his excitement. 

“Yeah. I guess that’d be okay.” 

I manage to say. I shoot a look back to the Humvee, trying to communicate that Connor is also here, that I have to go. He nods imperceptibly, though I’m not sure he fully understands. 

“Alright, Pyp, time to say bye-bye.” 

The second bye leaves my lips, Pyp vanishes from my arm. I’m standing, dumbfounded, arms still where my daughter was a second ago. I’d just seen her do it, of course, but I still hadn’t processed the whole thing. Pyp had powers. Newly born powers that would send me and Aaron back to those terrible first days with super speed. 

Pyp reappears in the ground, between James and Kenji, grabbing both of their pant’s legs. 

“No bye-bye!” She stomps her bare feet in the grass. 

“That’s quite enough of that, Olympia.” I put my arms in my waist. She flinches. 

“But unky…”, Pyp whines. “And fly lady!”

“We have to go home to your dad.” I take a step closer to pick her up, but she poofs again, next to Nazeera. I try again, faster this time, but she keeps poofing. I can see this is going to be a nightmare to put limits on. When she poofs the third time, something catches her as soon as she resurfaces. 

“I got her!” Connor announces with a triumphant smile. He winces when he see he’s surrounded and all looks are at him. He looks at me terrified, remembering what I told him when he sees my . “Sorry. I thought you were gonna lose her again.”

Pyp clapped her hands. 

“Con-con!”, she celebrates. “Dad here?”

“Ah, no. Sorry, Pyp.” 

My head feels like it’s about to explode. I take a deep breath, trying not to panic. My babies, my new life, fully out to my old life, at their will. People I had seen go to battle, stand by me, carrying bodies, locking doors so we wouldn’t get hit by bullets, and

“Hey, little dude”, Kenji says, breaking me out of my train of thought. He puts his hand up and Connor smiles before slamming his own hand against it. “What do you think of the place?”

“Boring. You have a small house.” 

“Connor!”, I reprimand, because I don’t know what else to do. 

“Is anyone going to explain what is happening here?” Castle asks, his brows furrowed. “I apologize, miss Sommers, but won’t you stay a little longer and clean this whole mess up?” 

“When don’t I clean your stuff up, Castle?” I ask, letting out a sigh, fully defeated. All of my plans had been foiled, might as well move with the flow. “Mrs. Sommers.”  
I correct for the last time, petting Connor in the head and picking up Pyp again. 


	31. Aaron

I wake up to the sound of the radio. I had fallen asleep against the tractor soon after I got the news Connor was with Ella. I hadn’t meant to, but after all of the tension, my body gave out once it relaxed. I wasn’t as used to being stressed as I once was. My father would have a thing or two to say on the matter. The mere fact I was thinking about it showed me things weren’t great in my head. 

“W? It’s J. Come in. Over.” 

I hear Ella call and shake my head to wake myself. I clear my throat before picking up the speaker and pressing the button. 

“This is W. Over”, I manage to say before a yawn. 

“What? No codes this time?”, she jokes, and I can feel she’s in a much better mood than before. I brace myself for good news. Her tone changes accordingly. “She’s here, love. She’s here. I found her. Over.”

Relief washes over me. My body relaxes, my jaw unclenches, my lungs breathe heaps of fresh air. 

“Ah, thank goodness love. Is she alright? Is she hurt? Over.”

“No. No, she’s fine. She’s alright. But, uh… She’s unnatural now. So that’s something… We were right, her powers are showing. I’ll tell you when I see you, alright? Over. ” I nod. It’s best not to discuss such things over radio. You never know when people can be listening in. However, something in her voice sounds tired. One could think it’s due to driving all night. But I know her better. I don’t even have to ask. We tell each other everything. “C showed himself. Over.”

I shake my head, closing my eyes. This is why he should have stayed home all along. I knew that, once he was out there, in the world, he wouldn’t let himself be contained anymore. It’s not that I didn’t want him to get to know such world… I just didn’t want it to be so soon. I sigh before getting the nerve to speak.

“We always knew we couldn’t hide them forever. Over.”

“Tell me about it. I just wish it was in our terms… Either way, I’m having trouble getting Pyp to collaborate and come back… Connor is also… Very excited. I’m going to try and wait until they’re tired to get them in the car. I’ll be back in the morning at the latest.”

How pathetic was it that the perspective of a whole day without my wife and children filled my stomach with dread? Still, I can’t let myself be taken by 

“You shouldn’t drive these roads at night, love. You know that. Last night was an extraordinary circumstance. It’s better to wait until the early morning. They’ll be asleep and won’t fight and you’ll be safer. Over.”

“You think? They did say I can stay over… Over.” 

I nod, even though she can’t see me.

“Do what you have to do. I’ll hold down the fort. Over.” 

“I love you. Over.” I smile like a stupid teenager. 

“I love you too. Tell Pyp I miss her. Over and out.” 

I turn off the radio, letting a breath out. There is much to be done today - as there is every day. As I look forward, I can’t help but feel a clench around my heart. I stand up, looking up at the tractor I’d slept leaning against. I nod to myself and grab a hat. 

I’ll still be here tomorrow. I’ll be waiting for my wife to return. I’ll have the house ready to receive my kids. I might have been a log adrift once, but now my roots were going to hold strong. 


	32. Ella

After I send the message, I go find the others at the dining hall.   
James and Kenji got released for the day - though I assumed it was just so Castle got all the answers he wanted out of them, and not an act of kindness. Adam had seemed inclined to come, but he said he really needed to sleep. No one could argue.   
When I walk into the dining hall, Connor is running forward and back. He peeks into every window he can find, and tries to climb any unsuspecting object that seems like can hold his weight. Even when I wave and hold on to his shoulder when he’s next to me he keeps jumping up and down in place.   
“Mom, why did we never come here? This place is awesome!”, he says, for my despair. He doesn’t wait for an answer, but I feel eyes on me, waiting for this answer.   
Now that I’m here, I know that my explanation will sound fragile. I always knew coming here would tempt me to forget, would lull me with friendship and old memories. It’s part of the reason I never allowed myself to come. But this was still a governamental installment - and where there was a government, there was danger. Where there were orders, there might be resistance. And my family already had given all they could to a new world.   
Thankfully, the dining hall is still half empty after lunch. Connor tells me he already said hi to all of the kitchen workers and got us our plates. He takes me to the table where everyone else is.   
“I love carrots!” He announces with fiery passion as he sits on the table, across from me and Nazeera, between Castle and Nouria. “I like your hair”, he says, a full mouth of carrots not able to stop him. “Can you do cool things too?”   
“I can do lots of cool things.” Castle says, raising one of his eyebrows.   
“Yeah, but like powers.” He turns to Nouria. “ What about you? You look like you do.”   
“Do I?”, she asks, amused. Her father rolls his eyes, something I don’t think I ever seen him do.   
“Yes. Maybe that’s another power I have. Mom! Do you think I have two powers?”  
I shake my head, trying to keep an eye on Pyp so she won’t make an even bigger mess of her plate. My opinion doesn’t stop Connor, who puts both hands on his forehead and squints at Kenji.   
“You can turn invisible.”   
Kenji laughs.   
“Really powerful stuff, kiddo.”   
Connor then turns to James.   
“Your power is really lame…”   
James shakes his head but doesn’t comment, the rest of the table laughs. Pyp screeches, extending her fat baby hands to her brother.   
“Do me! Do me!”  
Connor looks at his sister with a devilish grin.   
“Your can make… Really smelly poop!”  
“No, Con-con!” She giggles, holding on to the table and jumping on her seat. “You got it wrong!”  
“Ah.” He pretends to be disappointed, which makes Pyp screech again, this time in delight. “I guess I don’t really have this power then.”  
The kids banter on, but my brain is used to it and start to zone out. When I come back, Nazeera is waiting for an answer.   
“Hm?” I say, with no idea how long ago she started talking to me.   
“I said it’s kind of surreal.” She points at Connor, who is still making a speech about powers. “Seeing you do this. Even with how much they look like you guys.”   
I blink twice at her, before smiling like a proud dork.   
“You can say that again. Sometimes it’s hard to really comprehend this is my life.”   
“They really look like you. Specially when you guys were kids. I still have those pictures somewhere.” There sounds like there’s something behind what she’s saying but I can’t quite place it. A proposition, of sorts. I can’t fall for it. My child pictures are also Emmaline’s child pictures. The perfect child she had been, before despicable people had done unspeakable things to her. Before she had paid dearly for no sustaining our parents expectations.   
I make sure none of the kids are paying attention before I answer her.   
“They don’t know. About me. Us. Restablishment and everything. Connor knows some things now… But not about where we’re from.” I say slowly. It pains me to think how in the dark they are and how much there was they didn’t know. “I only told them about Emmaline. Just… You know, that she existed.”   
“Huh,” Nazeera says, tapping her caramel fingers on the table, her perfect brows furrowing. “Do they know we used to be friends?”   
“No. Probably not.” She contemplates the matter, watching as Connor stuffs his mouth with carrots. I stretch across the table to give him a napkin. “I know, I know, I should tell them. I already got the talk from Kenji.”   
Nazeera almost spits out what she is drinking, trying to hold back a laugh.   
“You got the talk from Kenji? Oh my, things must be really shit for you to be taking advice from Kishimoto.”  
I squint at her.   
“Aren’t you two together, though? He did call you his girlfriend.”   
She smiles ironically and shrugs.   
“We both know who’s the brains of our little operation. I have no illusions towards that man I chose.” To my surprise, her hand touches my arm slightly. “I, for one, understand why you did it. And I don’t think you need to rush into anything. I mean, what is he? Five? It’s not like it was easy for us to wrap our minds around it, let alone a little kid”   
I nod. That’s exactly my point! When I look at Connor, he is looking at me. He smiles. I smile back. He squeezes his drink out of the gap between his front teeth right onto the table.


	33. Ella

“You sure have a lot of friends, mom.” Connor says as I wrap him up in a towel after the shower. Pyp is already asleep in the other room, exhausted from all the excitement of finally getting taken flying. “Winston and Ian and Adam, and Alia and Sonia and Sara…”  
He names, like a list that he memorized, as I put him in adult pajamas and start to roll up his sleeves. I smile. I’m glad he likes my friends. I help him dry his hair.  
“It’s not what I thought soldiers would be like.”  
I sigh, hoping I could unsay all the things I had to tell him during the trip. I kneel in front of him.  
“Life is not all black and white, baby.” When he’s fully dressed I sit him at the closed toilet, brushing his hair. “They’re great people forced into terrible things. Just like me and your dad.”  
Connor nods, thinking.  
“Did you meet dad at the same time you met him?”  
I fight the urge to say “one of the times”. I take his hand and pull him back into the main room. My old tent is exactly how we left it, down to the stuff we chose to leave behind. I take Connor with me to the living area, turning the lamp on, making sure it’s pointing away from Pyp.  
The pictures Nazeera gave me were inside an envelope in my pocket. I take them off and smile. I show Connor the picture of me and his dad, barely older than his sister, at the bottom of the stairs on the very house we live today.  
“You see, Connor… Your dad and I… We met a long time ago. When hope was low and fear was high… A group of people decided they could profit from the state of things. They called themselves the Restablishment.” 

JAMES  
Adam is getting ready for work. Alia, in pajamas, makes him a cup of coffee. She gives him a kiss on the cheek. I notice he stiffens a bit and Alia does too. She starts to pull away, but he pulls her closer again, giving her a fragile smile and kissing her forehead. I avert my eyes. It has been like this for a while.  
Alia wishes us good night softly as she goes to bed. Adam sits down next to me on the couch to drink his coffee. His eyes follow Alia until the door of the room closes. He sets his drink aside, looking at me.  
“Did she tell you?” He asks, totally unprompted.  
I have no idea what he’s talking about.  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Adam tenses up, looking back at the closed door of the room. “Dude, what?”  
“It’s not funny, James. If that was your idea of a lesson, it didn’t work.”  
“A lesson? Are you feeling alright?”  
He breathes out, shaking his head.  
“Alia is pregnant.” He confesses in a low voice, taking a sip of his coffee. I fight my shock. “But you already know that. Right?”  
“No! Adam, that’s great! Why didn’t you tell me?!”  
“Because I’m freaking out, dude.” His hands go through his hair. By the shape it’s taking, it seems like he’s been doing it a lot. “I don’t know how to be a dad. And I wasn’t planning to. At least not now.”  
He lost me. I’m super confused.  
“What do you mean you don’t know how to be a dad? What does that make me, then? Did I happen to raise myself?”  
“James…”  
“Adam. You’re being stupid. Why not now? Nothing has happened here in so long… And we have a house and food and jobs... “  
“Yeah, but for how long? How long until the running starts again? Before we have to pack up and leave everything behind? How long until everything burns down and we have to rebuild? How long until we’re using our powers every day again?”  
I squeeze his shoulder. This is the most I’ve seen him speak in… Boy, in years. I just wish it wasn’t complete nonsense.  
“Never. It’s over.” I say, slowly, hoping to get through his thick skull. “You sound just like Juliette and Warner. You know where that took them? They live in the middle of nowhere, all alone and are terrified of their own friends. They kids don’t even know the full extent of their powers. Is that what you want?”  
His face is rigid. There’s a crease between his brows.  
“So I was right. You brought her here to give me a lesson.”  
“No, you dumb ass. I didn’t even bring her here. Pyp showed up here by accident.” I shake my head, resting my feet on the coffee table. I take a deep breath. “But I’m glad she did came. Because you were useless in getting our brother to talk to us. Maybe now we might… I don’t know. Also, you saw it yourself. They’re doing it. And they’ve been doing a long time. Warner is doing it. You should see how those kids look at him. They love him so much… And he loves them.”  
He doesn’t answer. He takes another sip of his coffee, but I doubt he can even taste it. I ruffle his hair like he used to do to mine when I was a kid.  
“Listen, Adam. You’re gonna be a great dad. You are.”  
He nods and gives me a crooked smile.  
“I did do a goob job on you, didn’t I?  
“Don’t get cocky. I’m also crazy smart. Now, go to work. I gotta get to bed.”


	34. Ella

Pyp doesn’t wake up when I lay her down in the back of the Humvee. She seems so small in the wide space of the car… I give her a light kiss on her forehead, before getting down. I almost trip on Connor, who immediately grabs on to me. I hug him and kiss the top of his head too. 

He has been handling well everything from last night. He’s scared - but also proud, I believe. In a way. He won’t let me know. We stay like this for a couple of minutes until Kenji finally shows up. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” 

“As if.” He shakes his head and ruffles Connor’s hair. Connor pushes his hands, fixing his own hair, but smiles slightly. “Are you sure you want to leave this early? You should say good-bye to everyone.” 

“No need. We’ll see them again soon.” Connor smiles in expectation, looking from me to Kenji. He mirrors my son, though hesitantly, not sure if he could dare to hope. “Tell everyone to come over. We’ll have James’ party at my place.” 

Kenji winces before his smile spreads. 

“For real?”

“For real.” I nod. It had been Connor’s idea (and he seems pretty proud of it). “We can’t just come back. We built a life, we have a house, we have jobs. I don’t think we can come back to working for someone. But… I’m also done hiding. It can’t be over if we don’t start doing things different.” 

To my surprise, Kenji hugs me. I hug him back, remembering that last time I was leaving, it was I who had to steal me a hug. I smile at him as we break apart. Connor also hugs Kenji, and he lifts the boy in his arms, squeezing him as he squeals. 

“I’ll see you soon,” I say, as I take my son’s hand and we start walking back to the Humvee. Kenji waves.

“I’ll see you soon.” 

He waves until he disappears in my rearview mirror. 

But this time it feels different. 

 

When Pyp wakes up, she just asks for her breakfast. Connor and I exchange looks, waiting for her to meltdown and transport back to camp, but she just eats the nuts I give her in a ziplock and hums softly, still half asleep. So we dodged that bullet, at least for now. 

After a while, she climbed to Connor’s seat, laying her head against his shoulder and falling back asleep. He smiled and hugged his sister, cuddling her head in his lap. She curled up like a puppy. I wish I could have a picture of this moment. I would carry it with me at all times, tattoo it inside my eyelids so see it every time I blinked, I’d fly it across the skies so all could see. But it’s fine. I won’t forget it. 

Hours later, we start seeing our crops and as we come closer, the house in the horizon. I almost brake the car when Pyp lets out a screech. She vanishes a second later. I stop the car, panicking, but Connor pokes at my shoulder and points. Close to the house, the dogs are barking and running around Aaron. Pyp is in his arms and he is filling her small face with kisses. I smile, putting a hand over my chest to calm my heart. 

Connor opens his door and flashes to his dad’s side. Aaron drops to his knees and pulls our boy closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

Turning off the Humvee right there in the middle of the road, I get down too. Smiling as my whole world comes together. All cracks are sealed, the sun is shining again, the birds are singing. There’s this feeling too. This warm, fulfilling thing. It’s back, but it’s not the same. There is a kind of weight tying me to what I left behind. It was nothing like a burden. It was a reminder. My world was bigger than I first thought. 

Walking slowly towards him, I open my arms. He leaves the kids on the ground when he sees me and runs to me, lifting me by the waist and spinning me around. I cling to his neck, taking in his scent. I do my best to project how much I love him, how much I’ve missed him, how relieved I am that we’re all together again. Our family. The one we’ve built from nothing. 

“Did you enjoy your alone time?”

“Maybe one or two minutes”, he plays, shaking his head from side to side. 

“Good. Because we’re expecting company.”

One of his eyebrows raises. His eyes go down to my stomach. It takes me a second to see what he’s thinking. I shake my head and laugh, pushing him weakly. 

“Not that kind! We’re throwing a party!”

Aaron seems terrified. I bet he is much more inclined to having a new child - which is one of the scariest things one can do. Before he can worry too much, however, I kiss him. The party can wait. 

Everything can wait. 

“Mom! Pyp keeps poofing!”

Except for that. 


	35. Aaron

Our front yard has never looked so busy. Not that there are that many people here. Today is family only. 

In a very sunny evening, everyone is sitting around the tables Connor and I put together from old wood and barrels. We had even gone to extremes of hanging up colorful little paper flags Ella and Pyp made. I don’t have a lot of experience with parties, but this is all very festive. 

Pyp is showing her Unky around, pulling him by the hand, making sure everyone knows it’s his birthday - despite them having come all this way especially for the occasion. She made him a paper crown to make sure no one could miss him in the small crowd.

Connor is showing up his speed by running next to some cans to make them fall. Kenji and Nazeera seem pretty impressed - or at least, they’re pretending very well. 

I barely notice Kent until he pops a can next to me. I turn to him, accepting his offer. These are not my preferred beverages, but I could make an effort in the name of brotherhood. 

“Thanks for the party, man”, he says, leaning against the porch next to me. 

“I’m just the muscle behind the operation. It was all Connor’s idea.”

“So I’ve heard”, we both smile when Connor takes a bow after dropping one more tower of cans. Everyone around claps. In that moment, I can almost feel the invisible bond the two of us share. Despite it being the ghost of a man none of us wanted to remember… It could be something else. “You have something really precious here.” 

I nod. “I know.”

“I hope I can have something half this nice one day.”

“Well, it’s not as easy as I make it seem.” I try to make a joke. I’m unable to tell if I failed or not. 

He hardly registers my comment, taking a big gulp. His eyes are one his wife, who has Pyp in her arms. My daughter is presenting her uncle to her (even though he is her brother-in-law and they live in the same house). 

“We’re expecting”, he confesses, lowering his voice like he’s telling me war secrets. I blink, surprised, though I’m not sure why. 

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you”, Kent says, but it sounds like a mere reflex. 

We both sip on our cans. I frown at the taste and decide to not do it anymore. I feel like he’s waiting for me to say something. So I tell him what I wish someone had told me when we first got to this house, alone and afraid. 

“I’m going to save you some time and tell you that you are not our father. And neither am I.” Despite my hunch, he is surprised that I said something. Or, rather, he is surprised by what I said. His shoulders tense up, but his eyes remain on me, rigid. I look at Connor, who’s asking for help to put his cans back in position. “You’ll be afraid, sure. It’s terrifying. Every day. When will I go back to my old instincts? How long until I become just like him? But that’s not all. You’ll be scared for her, and you’ll be scared for the baby. Labor beats any battle I’ve been in. And if you think that’s terrible, wait until you get the little thing in your hands and it needs you for everything…”

My eyes travel to Pyp, who transports to the table when Ella tells her she can’t have cake yet. I watch with a smile as Ella tries to save the cake and Sonya tries to stop the toddler to stomp on the rest of the food, while Ian laughs at the whole scene.

“You’ll learn to be scared of things you never imagined. Water, furniture corners, electric plugs. You’ll be so scared of making afraid. But at the end of the day… Children need love. They don’t need a specific kind of parent. They need their parent.”

Adam seems shook. I touch his shoulder, allowing myself to smile at him. 

“Also, good luck making kids as cute as mine.”

I see a glint of fun in his eyes as I walk away. 

When the last car disappears in the horizon, Pyp is already fast asleep in my arms. Finding out she had a second Unky and soon a cousin was too much for her. I give her to Ella so she can take her to bed. Connor helps me clean up. He does most of the work with the plates, cups and cutlery - despite me telling him not to run with breakables and/or knives. He doesn’t listen to me, as per usual. I take down the tables, but leave the colorful flags. There’s nothing wrong with keeping the colors up a little longer. 

When we are done, I take Connor upstairs. He’s saying he’s not tired mid-yawn. I set up a shower for him and he tells me he can do it by himself. I wait out in the hallway. Ella closes the door to Pyp’s room. 

“She was so tired she didn’t even ask to sleep with us…” Ella wraps her arms around my waist. I hug her shoulders, touching my chin to the top of her head. 

“She did have a lot of fun.” 

“That she did”, Ella nods, closing her own eyes. “I’m glad we did this.” 

“Me too.”

She raises her face to me and smiles. I can’t help but smile back. I kiss her briefly and her eyes flutter closed. She lets out a satisfied sigh. 

“You know what this whole thing made me realise?” 

“Hm?” 

“I don’t want to go back. Not really. We can keep in touch and visit and they can come a any time… But I would never give up what we built here.” 

I nod. 

“Me either, love.” I touch her face, smiling. “I love you. I love you every day and every night. And even a day without you and the kids was torture.” 

Ella holds my hand and kisses my palm. 

“Let me make it up to you?” 

I look back at the bathroom door.

“If I throw some toys at him, he’ll be entertained for a couple of hours.”

Ella laughs and shakes her head, opening the doors and rushing Connor to finish up. I watch from the door was she wraps him up in a towel and carries him to his room. He’s barely awake when she puts him in pajamas, but he still asks us to hang around a little longer. 

I tuck him in and kiss his forehead. Ella kisses it too. Connor smiles at her and at me and yawns, closing his eyes. Safe. Warm. Secure. Loved. All I’d always dream to be as a child. He falls asleep, knowing he’ll wake up tomorrow and have another bright day. 

I take Ella’s hand. She smiles at me and we stand up carefully. We leave Connor’s bedside lamp on just in case he needs it. But he doesn’t. He knows where to find us. 


End file.
